fice was overtaken by Lightning.

"You see," said the Lightning, as it crept past him inch by inch, "I can
travel considerably faster than you."

"Yes," the Man Running for Office replied, "but think how much longer I
keep going!"

The Lassoed Bear

A Hunter who had lassoed a Bear was trying to disengage himself from the
rope, but the slip-knot about his wrist would not yield, for the Bear was
all the time pulling in the slack with his paws. In the midst of his
trouble the Hunter saw a Showman passing by, and managed to attract his
attention.

"What will you give me," he said, "for my Bear?"

"It will be some five or ten minutes," said the Showman, "before I shall
want a fresh Bear, and it looks to me as if prices would fall during that
time. I think I'll wait and watch the market."

"The price of this animal," the Hunter replied, "is down to bed-rock; you
can have him for nothing a pound, spot cash, and I'll throw in the next
one that I lasso. But the purchaser must remove the goods from the
premises forthwith, to make room for three man-eating tigers, a
cat-headed gorilla, and an armful of rattlesnakes."

But the Showman passed on, in maiden meditation, fancy free, and being
joined soon afterward by the Bear, who was absently picking his teeth, it
was inferred that they were not unacquainted.

The Ineffective Rooter

A Drunken Man was lying in the road with a bleeding nose, upon which he
had fallen, when a Pig passed that way.

"You wallow fairly well," said the Pig, "but, my fine fellow, you have
much to learn about rooting."

A Protagonist of Silver

Some Financiers who were whetting their tongues on their teeth because
the Government had "struck down" silver, and were about to "inaugurate" a
season of sweatshed, were addressed as follows by a Member of their
honourable and warlike body:

"Comrades of the thunder and companions of death, I cannot but regard it
as singularly fortunate that we who by conviction and sympathy are
designated by nature as the champions of that fairest of her products,
the white metal, should also, by a happy chance, be engaged mostly in the
business of mining it. Nothing could be more appropriate than that those
who from unselfish motives and elevated sentiments are doing battle for
the people's rights and interests, should themselves be the chief
beneficiaries of success. Therefore, O children of the earthquake and
the storm, let us stand sh