or. "You shall have real guns."

"Thank you, thank you," cried the warriors, effusively. "We will take
good care of them, and in the event of war return them to the arsenal."

The Reform School Board

The members of the School Board in Doosnoswair being suspected of
appointing female teachers for an improper consideration, the people
elected a Board composed wholly of women. In a few years the scandal was
at an end; there were no female teachers in the Department.

The Poet's Doom

An Object was walking along the King's highway wrapped in meditation and
with little else on, when he suddenly found himself at the gates of a
strange city. On applying for admittance, he was arrested as a
necessitator of ordinances, and taken before the King.

"Who are you," said the King, "and what is your business in life?"

"Snouter the Sneak," replied the Object, with ready invention;
"pick-pocket."

The King was about to command him to be released when the Prime Minister
suggested that the prisoner's fingers be examined. They were found
greatly flattened and calloused at the ends.

"Ha!" cried the King; "I told you so!--he is addicted to counting
syllables. This is a poet. Turn him over to the Lord High Dissuader
from the Head Habit."

"My liege," said the Inventor-in-Ordinary of Ingenious Penalties, "I
venture to suggest a keener affliction.

"Name it," the King said.

"Let him retain that head!"

It was so ordered.

The Noser and the Note

The Head Rifler of an insolvent bank, learning that it was about to be
visited by the official Noser into Things, placed his own personal note
for a large amount among its resources, and, gaily touching his guitar,
awaited the inspection. When the Noser came to the note he asked,
"What's this?"

"That," said the Assistant Pocketer of Deposits, "is one of our
liabilities."

"A liability?" exclaimed the Noser. "Nay, nay, an asset. That is what
you mean, doubtless."

"Therein you err," the Pocketer explained; "that note was written in the
bank with our own pen, ink, and paper, and we have not paid a stationery
bill for six months."

"Ah, I see," the Noser said, thoughtfully; "it is a liability. May I ask
how you expect to meet it?"

"With fortitude, please God," answered the Assistant Pocketer, his eyes
to Heaven raising--"with fortitude and a firm reliance on the laxity of
the law."

"Enough, enough," exclaimed the faithful servant of the