Snake wound about the limb,
between him and the trunk of the tree.

"If I hold on," he said to himself, "I shall be swallowed; if I let go I
shall break my neck."

But suddenly he bethought himself to dissemble.

"My perfected friend," he said, "my parental instinct recognises in you a
noble evidence and illustration of the theory of development. You are
the Opossum of the Future, the ultimate Fittest Survivor of our species,
the ripe result of progressive prehensility--all tail!"

But the Snake, proud of his ancient eminence in Scriptural history, was
strictly orthodox, and did not accept the scientific view.

The Life-Savers

Seventy-Five Men presented themselves before the President of the Humane
Society and demanded the great gold medal for life-saving.

"Why, yes," said the President; "by diligent effort so many men must have
saved a considerable number of lives. How many did you save?"

"Seventy-five, sir," replied their Spokesman.

"Ah, yes, that is one each--very good work--very good work, indeed," the
President said. "You shall not only have the Society's great gold medal,
but its recommendation for employment at the various life-boat stations
along the coast. But how did you save so many lives?"

The Spokesman of the Men replied:

"We are officers of the law, and have just returned from the pursuit of
two murderous outlaws."

The Australian Grasshopper

A Distinguished Naturalist was travelling in Australia, when he saw a
Kangaroo in session and flung a stone at it. The Kangaroo immediately
adjourned, tracing against the sunset sky a parabolic curve spanning
seven provinces, and evanished below the horizon. The Distinguished
Naturalist looked interested, but said nothing for an hour; then he said
to his native Guide:

"You have pretty wide meadows here, I suppose?"

"No, not very wide," the Guide answered; "about the same as in England
and America."

After another long silence the Distinguished Naturalist said:

"The hay which we shall purchase for our horses this evening--I shall
expect to find the stalks about fifty feet long. Am I right?"

"Why, no," said the Guide; "a foot or two is about the usual length of
our hay. What can you be thinking of?"

The Distinguished Naturalist made no immediate reply, but later, as in
the shades of night they journeyed through the desolate vastness of the
Great Lone Land, he broke the silence:

"I was thinking," he said, "of