What, then," said the Man in a Hurry, eagerly, "is the time of day?"

"The question is remanded to the Party Over There for a new answer,"
replied the Grave Person, returning his watch to his pocket and moving
away with great dignity.

He was a Judge of an Appellate Court.

The Poetess of Reform

One pleasant day in the latter part of eternity, as the Shades of all the
great writers were reposing upon beds of asphodel and moly in the Elysian
fields, each happy in hearing from the lips of the others nothing but
copious quotation from his own works (for so Jove had kindly bedeviled
their ears), there came in among them with triumphant mien a Shade whom
none knew. She (for the newcomer showed such evidences of sex as cropped
hair and a manly stride) took a seat in their midst, and smiling a
superior smile explained:

"After centuries of oppression I have wrested my rights from the grasp of
the jealous gods. On earth I was the Poetess of Reform, and sang to
inattentive ears. Now for an eternity of honour and glory."

But it was not to be so, and soon she was the unhappiest of mortals,
vainly desirous to wander again in gloom by the infernal lakes. For Jove
had not bedeviled her ears, and she heard from the lips of each blessed
Shade an incessant flow of quotation from his own works. Moreover, she
was denied the happiness of repeating her poems. She could not recall a
line of them, for Jove had decreed that the memory of them abide in
Pluto's painful domain, as a part of the apparatus.

The Unchanged Diplomatist

The republic of Madagonia had been long and well represented at the court
of the King of Patagascar by an officer called a Dazie, but one day the
Madagonian Parliament conferred upon him the superior rank of Dandee. The
next day after being apprised of his new dignity he hastened to inform
the King of Patagascar.

"Ah, yes, I understand," said the King; "you have been promoted and given
increased pay and allowances. There was an appropriation?"

"Yes, your Majesty."

"And you have now two heads, have you not?"

"Oh, no, your Majesty--only one, I assure you."

"Indeed? And how many legs and arms?"

"Two of each, Sire--only two of each."

"And only one body?"

"Just a single body, as you perceive."

Thoughtfully removing his crown and scratching the royal head, the
monarch was silent a moment, and then he said:

"I fancy that appropriation has been misapplied. You seem t