e belly of a snake were considering their altered
circumstances.

"This is pretty hard luck," said one.

"Don't jump to conclusions," the other said; "we are out of the wet and
provided with board and lodging."

"With lodging, certainly," said the First Frog; "but I don't see the
board."

"You are a croaker," the other explained. "We are ourselves the board."

A Valuable Suggestion

A Big Nation having a quarrel with a Little Nation, resolved to terrify
its antagonist by a grand naval demonstration in the latter's principal
port. So the Big Nation assembled all its ships of war from all over the
world, and was about to send them three hundred and fifty thousand miles
to the place of rendezvous, when the President of the Big Nation received
the following note from the President of the Little Nation:

"My great and good friend, I hear that you are going to show us your
navy, in order to impress us with a sense of your power. How needless
the expense! To prove to you that we already know all about it, I
inclose herewith a list and description of all the ships you have."

The great and good friend was so struck by the hard sense of the letter
that he kept his navy at home, and saved one thousand million dollars.
This economy enabled him to buy a satisfactory decision when the cause of
the quarrel was submitted to arbitration.

Two Footpads

Two Footpads sat at their grog in a roadside resort, comparing the
evening's adventures.

"I stood up the Chief of Police," said the First Footpad, "and I got away
with what he had."

"And I," said the Second Footpad, "stood up the United States District
Attorney, and got away with--"

"Good Lord!" interrupted the other in astonishment and admiration--"you
got away with what that fellow had?"

"No," the unfortunate narrator explained--"with a small part of what _I_
had."

Equipped for Service

During the Civil War a Patriot was passing through the State of Maryland
with a pass from the President to join Grant's army and see the fighting.
Stopping a day at Annapolis, he visited the shop of a well-known optician
and ordered seven powerful telescopes, one for every day in the week. In
recognition of this munificent patronage of the State's languishing
industries, the Governor commissioned him a colonel.

The Basking Cyclone

A Negro in a boat, gathering driftwood, saw a sleeping Alligator, and,
thinking it was a log, fell to estim