State, choking
with emotion; "here is a certificate of solvency."

"And here is a bottle of ink," the grateful financier said, slipping it
into the other's pocket; "it is all that we have."

The Cat and the King

A Cat was looking at a King, as permitted by the proverb.

"Well," said the monarch, observing her inspection of the royal person,
"how do you like me?"

"I can imagine a King," said the Cat, "whom I should like better."

"For example?"

"The King of the Mice."

The sovereign was so pleased with the wit of the reply that he gave her
permission to scratch his Prime Minister's eyes out.

The Literary Astronomer

The Director of an Observatory, who, with a thirty-six-inch refractor,
had discovered the moon, hastened to an Editor, with a four-column
account of the event.

"How much?" said the Editor, sententiously, without looking up from his
essay on the circularity of the political horizon.

"One hundred and sixty dollars," replied the man who had discovered the
moon.

"Not half enough," was the Editor's comment.

"Generous man!" cried the Astronomer, glowing with warm and elevated
sentiments, "pay me, then, what you will."

"Great and good friend," said the Editor, blandly, looking up from his
work, "we are far asunder, it seems. The paying is to be done by you."

The Director of the Observatory gathered up the manuscript and went away,
explaining that it needed correction; he had neglected to dot an m.

The Lion and the Rattlesnake

A Man having found a Lion in his path undertook to subdue him by the
power of the human eye; and near by was a Rattlesnake engaged in
fascinating a small bird.

"How are you getting on, brother?" the Man called out to the other
reptile, without removing his eyes from those of the Lion.

"Admirably," replied the serpent. "My success is assured; my victim
draws nearer and nearer in spite of her efforts."

"And mine," said the Man, "draws nearer and nearer in spite of mine. Are
you sure it is all right?"

"If you don't think so," the reptile replied as well as he then could,
with his mouth full of bird, "you better give it up."

A half-hour later, the Lion, thoughtfully picking his teeth with his
claws, told the Rattlesnake that he had never in all his varied
experience in being subdued, seen a subduer try so earnestly to give it
up. "But," he added, with a wide, significant smile, "I looked him into
countenance."

The