, when all but one had had judgment given
against them, that one was awarded the estate, which he asked his
Attorney to have appraised.

"There is nothing to appraise," said the Attorney, pocketing his last
fee.

"Then," said the Successful Claimant, "what good has all this litigation
done me?"

"You have been a good client to me," the Attorney replied, gathering up
his books and papers, "but I must say you betray a surprising ignorance
of the purpose of litigation."

The Politicians and the Plunder

Several Political Entities were dividing the spoils.

"I will take the management of the prisons," said a Decent Respect for
Public Opinion, "and make a radical change."

"And I," said the Blotted Escutcheon, "will retain my present general
connection with affairs, while my friend here, the Soiled Ermine, will
remain in the Judiciary."

The Political Pot said it would not boil any more unless replenished from
the Filthy Pool.

The Cohesive Power of Public Plunder quietly remarked that the two bosses
would, he supposed, naturally be his share.

"No," said the Depth of Degradation, "they have already fallen to me."

The Man and the Wart

A Person with a Wart on His Nose met a Person Similarly Afflicted, and
said:

"Let me propose your name for membership in the Imperial Order of
Abnormal Proboscidians, of which I am the High Noble Toby and
Surreptitious Treasurer. Two months ago I was the only member. One
month ago there were two. To-day we number four Emperors of the Abnormal
Proboscis in good standing--doubles every four weeks, see? That's
geometrical progression--you know how that piles up. In a year and a
half every man in California will have a wart on his Nose. Powerful
Order! Initiation, five dollars."

"My friend," said the Person Similarly Afflicted, "here are five dollars.
Keep my name off your books."

"Thank you kindly," the Man with a Wart on His Nose replied, pocketing
the money; "it is just the same to us as if you joined. Good-by."

He went away, but in a little while he was back.

"I quite forgot to mention the monthly dues," he said.

The Divided Delegation

A Delegation at Washington went to a New President, and said:

"Your Excellency, we are unable to agree upon a Favourite Son to
represent us in your Cabinet."

"Then," said the New President, "I shall have to lock you up until you do
agree."

So the Delegation was cast into the deepest dungeon