then stop here for rest and refreshments, giving you a chance to steal
the camels, the horses, and the goods?"

"May the wild hog defile my grave, but thou speakest wisdom!" the Fogy
replied, with the dignity of his race, extending his hand. "Sheik."

They shook.

At Heaven's Gate

Having arisen from the tomb, a Woman presented herself at the gate of
Heaven, and knocked with a trembling hand.

"Madam," said Saint Peter, rising and approaching the wicket, "whence do
you come?"

"From San Francisco," replied the Woman, with embarrassment, as great
beads of perspiration spangled her spiritual brow.

"Never mind, my good girl," the Saint said, compassionately. "Eternity
is a long time; you can live that down."

"But that, if you please, is not all." The Woman was growing more and
more confused. "I poisoned my husband. I chopped up my babies. I--"

"Ah," said the Saint, with sudden austerity, "your confession suggests a
very grave possibility. Were you a member of the Women's Press
Association?"

The lady drew herself up and replied with warmth:

"I was not."

The gates of pearl and jasper swung back upon their golden hinges, making
the most ravishing music, and the Saint, stepping aside, bowed low,
saying:

"Enter, then, into thine eternal rest."

But the Woman hesitated.

"The poisoning--the chopping--the--the--" she stammered.

"Of no consequence, I assure you. We are not going to be hard on a lady
who did not belong to the Women's Press Association. Take a harp."

"But I applied for membership--I was blackballed."

"Take two harps."

The Catted Anarchist

An Anarchist Orator who had been struck in the face with a Dead Cat by
some Respector of Law to him unknown, had the Dead Cat arrested and taken
before a Magistrate.

"Why do you appeal to the law?" said the Magistrate--"You who go in for
the abolition of law."

"That," replied the Anarchist, who was not without a certain hardness of
head, "that is none of your business; I am not bound to be consistent.
You sit here to do justice between me and this Dead Cat."

"Very well," said the Magistrate, putting on the black cap and a solemn
look; "as the accused makes no defence, and is undoubtedly guilty, I
sentence her to be eaten by the public executioner; and as that position
happens to be vacant, I appoint you to it, without bonds."

One of the most delighted spectators at the execution was the anonymous
Respector of