am made ineligible to a
seat in your convention; so I am compelled to seek representation through
you."

"It will give me great pleasure, sir," said the Owner of a Silver Mine,
"to serve one so closely allied to me in--in--well, you know," he added,
with a significant gesture of his two hands upward from the sides of his
head. "What do you want?"

"Oh, nothing--nothing at all for myself individually," replied the
Donkey; "but his country's welfare should be a patriot's supreme care. If
Americans are to retain the sacred liberties for which their fathers
strove, Congress must declare our independence of European dictation by
maintaining the price of mules."

The Dog and the Physician

A Dog that had seen a Physician attending the burial of a wealthy
patient, said: "When do you expect to dig it up?"

"Why should I dig it up?" the Physician asked.

"When I bury a bone," said the Dog, "it is with an intention to uncover
it later and pick it."

"The bones that I bury," said the Physician, "are those that I can no
longer pick."

The Party Manager and the Gentleman

A Party Manager said to a Gentleman whom he saw minding his own business:

"How much will you pay for a nomination to office?"

"Nothing," the Gentleman replied.

"But you will contribute something to the campaign fund to assist in your
election, will you not?" asked the Party Manager, winking.

"Oh, no," said the Gentleman, gravely. "If the people wish me to work
for them, they must hire me without solicitation. I am very comfortable
without office."

"But," urged the Party Manager, "an election is a thing to be desired. It
is a high honour to be a servant of the people."

"If servitude is a high honour," the Gentleman said, "it would be
indecent for me to seek it; and if obtained by my own exertion it would
be no honour."

"Well," persisted the Party Manager, "you will at least, I hope, indorse
the party platform."

The Gentleman replied: "It is improbable that its authors have accurately
expressed my views without consulting me; and if I indorsed their work
without approving it I should be a liar."

"You are a detestable hypocrite and an idiot!" shouted the Party Manager.

"Even your good opinion of my fitness," replied the Gentleman, "shall not
persuade me."

The Legislator and the Citizen

An ex-Legislator asked a Most Respectable Citizen for a letter to the
Governor recommending him for appointment as