suspicion," replied the Cashier,
"the Association undertakes to clear his character by submitting evidence
that he was never a prominent member of any church, nor foremost in
Sunday-school work."

Recognising the value to the bank of a spotless reputation for its
officers, the President drew his check for the amount of the shortage and
the Cashier was restored to favour.

The Circular Clew

A Detective searching for the murderer of a dead man was accosted by a
Clew.

"Follow me," said the Clew, "and there's no knowing what you may
discover."

So the Detective followed the Clew a whole year through a thousand
sinuosities, and at last found himself in the office of the Morgue.

"There!" said the Clew, pointing to the open register.

The Detective eagerly scanned the page, and found an official statement
that the deceased was dead. Thereupon he hastened to Police Headquarters
to report progress. The Clew, meanwhile, sauntered among the busy haunts
of men, arm in arm with an Ingenious Theory.

The Devoted Widow

A Widow weeping on her husband's grave was approached by an Engaging
Gentleman who, in a respectful manner, assured her that he had long
entertained for her the most tender feelings.

"Wretch!" cried the Widow. "Leave me this instant! Is this a time to
talk to me of love?"

"I assure you, madam, that I had not intended to disclose my affection,"
the Engaging Gentleman humbly explained, "but the power of your beauty
has overcome my discretion."

"You should see me when I have not been crying," said the Widow.

The Hardy Patriots

A Dispenser-Elect of Patronage gave notice through the newspapers that
applicants for places would be given none until he should assume the
duties of his office.

"You are exposing yourself to a grave danger," said a Lawyer.

"How so?" the Dispenser-Elect inquired.

"It will be nearly two months," the Lawyer answered, "before the day that
you mention. Few patriots can live so long without eating, and some of
the applicants will be compelled to go to work in the meantime. If that
kills them, you will be liable to prosecution for murder."

"You underrate their powers of endurance," the official replied.

"What!" said the Lawyer, "you think they can stand work?"

"No," said the other--"hunger."

The Humble Peasant

An Office Seeker whom the President had ordered out of Washington was
watering the homeward highway with his tears.