Law who had flung the condemned.

The Honourable Member

A Member of a Legislature, who had pledged himself to his Constituents
not to steal, brought home at the end of the session a large part of the
dome of the Capitol. Thereupon the Constituents held an indignation
meeting and passed a resolution of tar and feathers.

"You are most unjust," said the Member of the Legislature. "It is true I
promised you I would not steal; but had I ever promised you that I would
not lie?"

The Constituents said he was an honourable man and elected him to the
United States Congress, unpledged and unfledged.

The Expatriated Boss

A Boss who had gone to Canada was taunted by a Citizen of Montreal with
having fled to avoid prosecution.

"You do me a grave injustice," said the Boss, parting with a pair of
tears. "I came to Canada solely because of its political attractions;
its Government is the most corrupt in the world."

"Pray forgive me," said the Citizen of Montreal.

They fell upon each other's neck, and at the conclusion of that touching
rite the Boss had two watches.

An Inadequate Fee

An Ox, unable to extricate himself from the mire into which he sank, was
advised to make use of a Political Pull. When the Political Pull had
arrived, the Ox said: "My good friend, please make fast to me, and let
nature take her course."

So the Political Pull made fast to the Ox's head and nature took her
course. The Ox was drawn, first, from the mire, and, next, from his
skin. Then the Political Pull looked back upon the good fat carcase of
beef that he was dragging to his lair and said, with a discontented
spirit:

"That is hardly my customary fee; I'll take home this first instalment,
then return and bring an action for salvage against the skin."

The Judge and the Plaintiff

A Man of Experience in Business was awaiting the judgment of the Court in
an action for damages which he had brought against a railway company. The
door opened and the Judge of the Court entered.

"Well," said he, "I am going to decide your case to-day. If I should
decide in your favour, I wonder how you would express your satisfaction?"

"Sir," said the Man of Experience in Business, "I should risk your anger
by offering you one half the sum awarded."

"Did I say I was going to decide that case?" said the Judge, abruptly, as
if awakening from a dream. "Dear me, how absent-minded I am. I mean I
have already d