sewife
intellectual?"

"I referred," said the Witch, "to the head of her good man."

The All Dog

A Lion seeing a Poodle fell into laughter at the ridiculous spectacle.

"Who ever saw so small a beast?" he said.

"It is very true," said the Poodle, with austere dignity, "that I am
small; but, sir, I beg to observe that I am all dog."

The Farmer's Friend

A Great Philanthropist who had thought of himself in connection with the
Presidency and had introduced a bill into Congress requiring the
Government to loan every voter all the money that he needed, on his
personal security, was explaining to a Sunday-school at a railway station
how much he had done for the country, when an angel looked down from
Heaven and wept.

"For example," said the Great Philanthropist, watching the teardrops
pattering in the dust, "these early rains are of incalculable advantage
to the farmer."

Physicians Two

A Wicked Old Man finding himself ill sent for a Physician, who prescribed
for him and went away. Then the Wicked Old Man sent for another
Physician, saying nothing of the first, and an entirely different
treatment was ordered. This continued for some weeks, the physicians
visiting him on alternate days and treating him for two different
disorders, with constantly enlarging doses of medicine and more and more
rigorous nursing. But one day they accidently met at his bedside while
he slept, and the truth coming out a violent quarrel ensued.

"My good friends," said the patient, awakened by the noise of the
dispute, and apprehending the cause of it, "pray be more reasonable. If
I could for weeks endure you both, can you not for a little while endure
each other? I have been well for ten days, but have remained in bed in
the hope of gaining by repose the strength that would justify me in
taking your medicines. So far I have touched none of it."

The Overlooked Factor

A Man that owned a fine Dog, and by a careful selection of its mate had
bred a number of animals but a little lower than the angels, fell in love
with his washerwoman, married her, and reared a family of dolts.

"Alas!" he exclaimed, contemplating the melancholy result, "had I but
chosen a mate for myself with half the care that I did for my Dog I
should now be a proud and happy father."

"I'm not so sure of that," said the Dog, overhearing the lament. "There's
a difference, certainly, between your whelps and mine, but I ve