the uncommon magnitude of that
grasshopper."

The Pavior

An Author saw a Labourer hammering stones into the pavement of a street,
and approaching him said:

"My friend, you seem weary. Ambition is a hard taskmaster."

"I'm working for Mr. Jones, sir," the Labourer replied.

"Well, cheer up," the Author resumed; "fame comes at the most unexpected
times. To-day you are poor, obscure, and disheartened, and to-morrow the
world may be ringing with your name."

"What are you giving me?" the Labourer said. "Cannot an honest pavior
perform his work in peace, and get his money for it, and his living by
it, without others talking rot about ambition and hopes of fame?"

"Cannot an honest writer?" said the Author.

The Tried Assassin

An Assassin being put upon trial in a New England court, his Counsel rose
and said: "Your Honour, I move for a discharge on the ground of 'once in
jeopardy': my client has been already tried for that murder and
acquitted."

"In what court?" asked the Judge.

"In the Superior Court of San Francisco," the Counsel replied.

"Let the trial proceed--your motion is denied," said the Judge. "An
Assassin is not in jeopardy when tried in California."

The Bumbo of Jiam

The Pahdour of Patagascar and the Gookul of Madagonia were disputing
about an island which both claimed. Finally, at the suggestion of the
International League of Cannon Founders, which had important branches in
both countries, they decided to refer their claims to the Bumbo of Jiam,
and abide by his judgment. In settling the preliminaries of the
arbitration they had, however, the misfortune to disagree, and appealed
to arms. At the end of a long and disastrous war, when both sides were
exhausted and bankrupt, the Bumbo of Jiam intervened in the interest of
peace.

"My great and good friends," he said to his brother sovereigns, "it will
be advantageous to you to learn that some questions are more complex and
perilous than others, presenting a greater number of points upon which it
is possible to differ. For four generations your royal predecessors
disputed about possession of that island, without falling out. Beware,
oh, beware the perils of international arbitration!--against which I feel
it my duty to protect you henceforth."

So saying, he annexed both countries, and after a long, peaceful, and
happy reign was poisoned by his Prime Minister.

The Two Poets

Two Poets were qua