oulder to shoulder, heart to heart, and pocket
to pocket!"

This speech so pleased the other Members of the convention that, actuated
by a magnanimous impulse, they sprang to their feet and left the hall. It
was the first time they had ever been known to leave anything having
value.

The Holy Deacon

An Itinerant Preacher who had wrought hard in the moral vineyard for
several hours whispered to a Holy Deacon of the local church:

"Brother, these people know you, and your active support will bear fruit
abundantly. Please pass the plate for me, and you shall have one
fourth."

The Holy Deacon did so, and putting the money into his pocket waited till
the congregation was dismissed and said goodnight.

"But the money, brother, the money that you collected!" said the
Itinerant Preacher.

"Nothing is coming to you," was the reply; "the Adversary has hardened
their hearts, and one fourth is all they gave."

A Hasty Settlement

"Your Honour," said an Attorney, rising, "what is the present status of
this case--as far as it has gone?"

"I have given a judgment for the residuary legatee under the will," said
the Court, "put the costs upon the contestants, decided all questions
relating to fees and other charges; and, in short, the estate in
litigation has been settled, with all controversies, disputes,
misunderstandings, and differences of opinion thereunto appertaining."

"Ah, yes, I see," said the Attorney, thoughtfully, "we are making
progress--we are getting on famously."

"Progress?" echoed the Judge--"progress? Why, sir, the matter is
concluded!"

"Exactly, exactly; it had to be concluded in order to give relevancy to
the motion that I am about to make. Your Honour, I move that the
judgment of the Court be set aside and the case reopened."

"Upon what ground, sir?" the Judge asked in surprise.

"Upon the ground," said the Attorney, "that after paying all fees and
expenses of litigation and all charges against the estate there will
still be something left."

"There may have been an error," said His Honour, thoughtfully--"the Court
may have underestimated the value of the estate. The motion is taken
under advisement."

The Wooden Guns

An Artillery Regiment of a State Militia applied to the Governor for
wooden guns to practise with.

"Those," they explained, "will be cheaper than real ones."

"It shall not be said that I sacrificed efficiency to economy," said the
Govern