but I _starve_ towards Wapping, and that way."

CCXCV.--EPIGRAM.

YOU beat your pate, and fancy wit will come:
Knock as you will, there's nobody at home.

CCXCVI.--TOO COLD TO CHANGE.

A LADY reproving a gentleman during a hard frost for swearing, advised
him to leave it off, saying it was a very bad habit. "Very true, madam,"
answered he, "but at present it is too cold to think of parting with any
_habit_, be it ever so bad."

CCXCVII.--SEALING AN OATH.

"Do you," said Fanny, t' other day,
"In earnest love me as you say;
Or are those tender words applied
Alike to fifty girls beside?"
"Dear, cruel girl," cried I, "forbear,
For by those eyes,--those _lips_ I swear!"
She stopped me as the oath I took,
And cried, "You've sworn,--_now kiss the book_."

CCXCVIII.--A NEAT QUOTATION.

LORD NORBURY asking the reason of the delay that happened in a cause,
was told that Mr. Serjeant _Joy_, who was to lead, was absent, but Mr.
_Hope_, the solicitor, had said that he would return immediately. His
lordship humorously repeated the well-known lines:--

"_Hope_ told a flattering tale,
That _Joy_ would soon return."

CCXCIX.--GOOD SPORT.

A GENTLEMAN on circuit narrating to Lord Norbury some extravagant feat
in sporting, mentioned that he had lately shot thirty-three hares before
breakfast. "Thirty-three _hairs_!" exclaimed Lord Norbury: "zounds, sir!
then you must have been firing at a _wig_."

CCC.--AN UNRE-HEARSED EFFECT.

A NOBLE lord, not over courageous, was once so far engaged in an affair
of honor, as to be drawn to Hyde Park to fight a duel. But just as he
arrived at the Porter's Lodge, an empty _hearse_ came by; on which his
lordship's antagonist called out to the driver, "Stop here, my good
fellow, a few minutes, and I'll send _you a fare_." This operated so
strongly on his lordship's nerves, that he begged his opponent's pardon,
and returned home in a whole skin.

CCCI.--A GOOD SERVANT.

"I CAN'T conceive," said one nobleman to another, "how it is that you
manage. Though your estate is less than mine, I could not afford to live
at the rate you do."--"My lord," said the other, "I have a place."--"A
place? you amaze me, I never heard of it till now,--pray what
place?"--"_I am my own steward_."

CCCII.--BALANCING ACCOUNTS.

THEOPHILUS CIBBER, who was very extravagant, one day a