or.

CCCX.--A PLACE WANTED.

A GENTLEMAN, who did not live very happily with his wife, on the maid
telling him that she was about to give her mistress warning, as she kept
scolding her from morning till night. "Happy girl!" said the master, "I
wish I could give _warning_ too."

CCCXI.--NOT TO BE BOUGHT.

A COMMON-COUNCILMAN'S lady paying her daughter a visit at school, and
inquiring what progress she had made in her education, the governess
answered, "pretty good, madam, she is very attentive: if she wants
anything it is a _capacity_: but for _that_ deficiency you know we must
not blame _her_."--"No madam," replied the mother, "but I blame _you_
for not having mentioned it before. Her father can afford his daughter a
_capacity_; and I beg she may have one immediately, cost what it may."

CCCXII.--SIGN OF BEING CRACKED.

IN a cause respecting a will, evidence was given to prove the testatrix,
an apothecary's widow, a lunatic; amongst other things, it was deposed
that she had swept a quantity of pots, lotions, potions, &c., into the
street as rubbish. "I doubt," said the learned judge, "whether sweeping
_physic_ into the street be any proof of insanity."--"True, my lord,"
replied the counsel, "but sweeping the _pots_ away, certainly was."

CCCXIII.--CRUEL SUGGESTION.

LORD STANLEY came plainly dressed to request a private audience of King
James I., but was refused admittance into the royal closet by a
sprucely-dressed countryman of the king's. James hearing the altercation
between the two, came out and inquired the cause. "My liege," said Lord
Stanley, "this gay countryman of yours has refused me admittance to your
presence."--"Cousin," said the king, "how shall I punish him? Shall I
send him to the Tower?"--"O no, my liege," replied Lord Stanley,
"inflict a severer punishment,--_send him back to Scotland_!"

CCCXIV.--AN ODD FELLOW.

LORD WILLOUGHBY DE BROKE was a very singular character, and had more
peculiarities than any nobleman of his day. Coming once out of the House
of Peers, and not seeing his servant among those who were waiting at the
door, he called out in a very loud voice, "Where can my _fellow
be_?"--"Not in Europe, my lord," said Anthony Henley, who happened to be
near him, "_not in Europe_."

CCCXV.--POST-MORTEM.

ONE of Cromwell's granddaughters was remarkable for her vivacity and
humor. One summer, being in company at Tunbridge Wel