uittal in th' shape iv th'
pop'lar song 'F'r he's a jolly good fellow' an' adds a ricommindation
that Harvard colledge is gettin' too gay annyhow.

"That's th' diff'rence between sojer an' polisman. Why is it that
th' fair sect wudden't be seen talkin' to a polisman, but if ye
say 'Sojer' to thim, they're all out iv th' window but th' feet?
I want to know."

"I can't tell," said Mr. Hennessy. "I heerd a frind iv Willum J.
Bryan say we was in danger iv havin' thim run th' counthry like
they do in--in Germany, d'ye mind."

"Niver fear," said Mr. Dooley. "There's too manny Gilligans not
in th' ar-rmy f'r that."

King Edward's Coronation

"Now that th' king iv Great Britain an' Ireland, but Ireland don't
know it, an' th' Dominyons beyond th' sea, f'r awhile, has been
cawrnated," said Mr. Dooley, "we can raysume where we left off."

"So it has been done at last, has it?" said Mr. Hennessy.

"Yes," said Mr. Dooley, "in th' prisince iv th' mos' illusthrees
iv his subjects, except me frind Whitelaw Reid, he was cawrnated
las' Saturdah. 'Tis too bad it was put off. 'Twas got up, d'ye
mind, f'r th' thrue an' staunch subjects on this side iv th' wather.
Th' king didn't need it. He's been king all th' time. A lot iv
us knew it. All he had to do anny time was to take his caubeen
fr'm th' rack, but his subjects fr'm beyond th' sea wanted to see
a cawrnation, an' they cudden't convaniently have wan here where
th' counthry is still run be univarsal suffering an' there are a
good manny shootin' gall'ries, an' annyhow he thought he'd like
to keep on good terms with th' Captains iv Industhry f'r fear they
might get mad an' put his furniture out into th' channel an' use
th' island f'r storin' ex-prisidints. So he got up th' cawrnation.
An' afther all, most iv thim didn't see it. They had to come
home here where they were born an' lave th' land where they expict
to die an' will, too, if they an' us have luck.

"But 'twas a gorgyous spicticle annyhow, Hinnissy. F'r weeks an'
weeks some iv th' finest minds in Europe has been debatin' whether
th' king shud stand on th' Earl iv Whinkie or th' markess iv
Ballyhoo durin' th' ceremony. It was decided that th' honor shud
go to th' noble earl, but that it was th' privilege iv th' noble
markess that his majesty shud put his feet on his back whin he set
down. Th' king ain't supposed to do annything f'r himsilf but go
up an' be cawrnated. At ivry turn they must be a joo