cted
because he was a rayformer, whin th' thruth iv th' matther is he
was ilicted because no wan knew him. Ye can always ilict a man
in this counthry on that platform. If I was runnin' f'r office,
I'd change me name, an' have printed on me cards: 'Give him a
chanst; he can't be worse.' He's ilicted because th' people don't
know him an' do know th' other la-ad; because Mrs. Casey's oldest
boy was clubbed be a polisman, because we cudden't get wather above
th' third story wan day, because th' sthreet car didn't stop f'r
us, because th' Flannigans bought a pianny, because we was near
run over be a mail wagon, because th' saloons are open Sundah night,
because they're not open all day, an' because we're tired seein'
th' same face at th' window whin we go down to pay th' wather taxes.
Th' rayformer don't know this. He thinks you an' me, Hinnissy,
has been watchin' his spotless career f'r twinty years, that we've
read all he had to say on th' evils iv pop'lar sufferage befure
th' Society f'r the Bewildermint iv th' Poor, an' that we're achin'
in ivry joint to have him dhrag us be th' hair iv th' head fr'm
th' flowin' bowl an' th' short card game, make good citizens iv
us an' sind us to th' pinitinchry. So th' minyit he gets into th'
job he begins a furyous attimpt to convart us into what we've been
thryin' not to be iver since we come into th' wurruld.

"In th' coorse iv th' twinty years that he spint attimptin' to get
office, he managed to poke a few warrum laws conthrollin' th'
pleasures iv th' poor into th' stachoo book, because no wan cared
about thim or because they made business betther f'r th' polis,
an' whin he's in office, he calls up th' Cap'n iv the polis an'
says he: 'If these laws ar-re bad laws th' way to end thim is to
enfoorce thim.' Somebody told him that, Hinnissy. It isn't thrue,
d'ye mind. I don't care who said it, not if 'twas Willum Shakespere.
It isn't thrue. Laws ar-re made to throuble people an' th' more
throuble they make th' longer they stay on th' stachoo book. But
th' polis don't ast anny questions. Says they: 'They'll be less
money in th' job but we need some recreation,' an' that night a
big copper comes down th' sthreet, sees me settin' out on th' front
stoop with me countenance dhraped with a tin pail, fans me with
his club an' runs me in. Th' woman nex' dure is locked up f'r
sthringin' a clothes line on th' roof, Hannigan's boy Tim gets
tin days f'r keepin' a goat, th' polis resar