to be thrue. No wan cud believe it at first.
But fin'lly it was officially announced in Parlymint be that hot
headed ol' pathrite, Lord Salsberry himsilf. In a voice choked
be emotion he arose an' give three cheers. Afther which he read
Gin'ral Kitchener's dispatch: 'I have th' pleasure to rayport that
yisterdah at nine o'clock Lord Mechoon be a superb sthrategy had
himsilf surrounded be an infeeryor foorce iv Boers undher Gin'ral
Delaney or some such name. Our cust'mary precaution iv dhrawin'
in th' pickets afther nightfall an' buryin' our rifles, which had
repeatedly failed in th' past owin' to th' caution iv th' Boers,
wurruked admirably. Gin'ral Delaney was completely taken be
surprise an' befure he cud recover, Lord Mechoon had thrown himsilf
around his neck an' given him his cigreet case in token iv submission.
Th' command behaved with gr-reat gallantry. In wan case, a
whole comp'ny surrindhered to wan Boer. I am sindin' ricommindations
f'r th' Victorya cross be freight. Unforchunitly our casulties
were very heavy. Mesilf an' nearly all th' other gin'rals escaped
capture. But betther luck nex' time. Gin'ral Dewet is about a
mile fr'm here, if in Africa at all, or indeed, livin'. Gin'ral
Botha is said to be in Ioway, though ye can't believe ivrything
ye see in th' pa-apers. Wan or th' other may be enthrapped into
kidnapin' me. In th' manetime I am plannin' right along. I sleep
constantly in clothes becomin' me station, an' th' impire may rely
on me not makin' a show iv mesilf whin I am took. Ye'ers hopefully,
Kitchener.'

"Th' Boers niver raycovered fr'm th' tur'ble blow. Their spirits
was crushed. Their hopes had fled. Th' kindergartens had opened
an' manny iv their bravest warryors had been carried off be their
mothers. Anny moment they might be surrounded an' surrindhered
to. So wan mornin' th' entire mighty army, th' whole thirty-two
iv them, histed th' white flag an' presinted their bill."

"An' so th' war is over?" asked Mr. Hennessy.

"On'y part iv it," said Mr. Dooley. "Th' part that ye see in th'
pitcher pa-apers is over, but th' tax collector will continyoo
his part iv th' war with relentless fury. Cav'lry charges are not
th' on'y wars in a rale war."

Newport

"About this time ivry year," said Mr. Dooley, "I go to Newport f'r
th' summer."

"Ye go where?" asked Mr. Hennessy.

"I go to Newport," said Mr. Dooley, calmly, "in th' pa-apers.
Newport's always there. I