ves are called out to
protict th' vested rights iv property against th' haynyous pushcart
man, th' stations is crowded with felons charged with maintainin'
a hose conthrary to th' stachoos made an' provided, an' th'
tindherline is all over town. A rayformer don't think annything
has been accomplished if they'se a vacant bedroom in th' pinitinchry.
His motto is 'Arrest that man.'

"Whin a rayformer is ilicted he promises ye a business administhration.
Some people want that but I don't. Th' American business man is
too fly. He's all right, d'ye mind. I don't say annything again'
him. He is what Hogan calls th' boolwarks iv pro-gress, an' we
cudden't get on without him even if his scales are a little too
quick on th' dhrop. But he ought to be left to dale with his
akels. 'Tis a shame to give him a place where he can put th'
comether on millions iv people that has had no business thrainin'
beyond occasionally handin' a piece iv debased money to a car
conductor on a cold day. A reg'lar pollytician can't give away
an alley without blushin', but a business man who is in pollytics
jus' to see that th' civil sarvice law gets thurly enfoorced, will
give Lincoln Park an' th' public libr'y to th' beef thrust, charge
an admission price to th' lake front an' make it a felony f'r
annywan to buy stove polish outside iv his store, an' have it all
put down to public improvemints with a pitcher iv him in th' corner
stone.

"Fortchnitly, Hinnissy, a rayformer is seldom a business man. He
thinks he is, but business men know diff'rent. They know what he
is. He thinks business an' honesty is th' same thing. He does,
indeed. He's got thim mixed because they dhress alike. His idee
is that all he has to do to make a business administhration is to
have honest men ar-round him. Wrong. I'm not sayin', mind ye,
that a man can't do good work an' be honest at th' same time. But
whin I'm hirin' a la-ad I find out first whether he is onto his
job, an' afther a few years I begin to suspect that he is honest,
too. Manny a dishonest man can lay brick sthraight an' manny a
man that wudden't steal ye'er spoons will break ye'er furniture.
I don't want Father Kelly to hear me, but I'd rather have a competint
man who wud steal if I give him a chanst, but I won't, do me
plumbin' thin a person that wud scorn to help himsilf but didn't
know how to wipe a joint. Ivry man ought to be honest to start
with, but to give a man an office jus' becau