irs was placed, an' wanst undher th'
stars comminted on th' ir'ny iv fate that condimned so great a man
to so milancholy a distiny.

"'This,' says our author, 'was th' daily life iv th' hayro f'r tin
years. In what purgatory will that infamous woman suffer if Hiven
thinks as much iv janiuses as we think iv oursilves. Forchnitly
th' pote was soon to be marcifully relieved. He left her an' she
marrid a boorjawce with whom she led a life iv coarse happiness.
It is sad to relate that some years aftherward th' great pote,
havin' called to make a short touch on th' woman f'r whom he had
sacryficed so much, was unfeelingly kicked out iv th' boorjawce's
plumbin' shop.'

"So, ye see, Hinnissy, why a woman oughtn't to marry a janius.
She can't be cross or peevish or angry or jealous or frivolous or
annything else a woman ought to be at times f'r fear it will get
into th' ditchn'ry iv bio-graphy, an' she'll go down to histhry
as a termygant. A termygant, Hinnissy, is a woman who's heerd
talkin' to her husband after they've been marrid a year. Hogan
says all janiuses was unhappily marrid. I guess that's thrue iv
their wives, too. He says if ye hear iv a pote who got on with
his fam'ly, scratch him fr'm ye'er public lib'ry list. An' there
ye ar-re."

"Ye know a lot about marredge," said Mr. Hennessy.

"I do," said Mr. Dooley.

"Ye was niver marrid?"

"No," said Mr. Dooley. "No, I say, givin' three cheers. I know
about marredge th' way an asthronomer knows about th' stars. I'm
studyin' it through me glass all th' time."

"Ye're an asthronomer," said Mr. Hennessy; "but," he added, tapping
himself lightly on the chest, "I'm a star."

"Go home," said Mr. Dooley crossly, "befure th' mornin' comes to
put ye out."

Reform Administration

"Why is it," asked Mr. Hennessy, "that a rayform administhration
always goes to th' bad?"

"I'll tell ye," said Mr. Dooley. "I tell ye ivrything an' I'll
tell ye this. In th' first place 'tis a gr-reat mistake to think
that annywan ra-aly wants to rayform. Ye niver heerd iv a man
rayformin' himsilf. He'll rayform other people gladly. He likes
to do it. But a healthy man'll niver rayform while he has th'
strenth. A man doesn't rayform till his will has been impaired
so he hasn't power to resist what th' pa-apers calls th' blandishments
iv th' timpter. An' that's thruer in politics thin annywhere else.

"But a rayformer don't see it. A rayformer thinks he was ili