-half frame house with Casey settin' on th' dure shtep
dhrinkin' out iv a pail. I go be Casey's house to-morrah an'
it's a hole in th' groun'. I rayturn to Casey's house on Thursdah
an' it's a fifty-eight storey buildin' with a morgedge onto it an'
they're thinkin' iv takin' it down an' replacin' it with a modhren
sthructure. Th' shoes that Corrigan th' cobbler wanst wurruked
on f'r a week, hammerin' away like a woodpecker, is now tossed out
be th' dozens fr'm th' mouth iv a masheen. A cow goes lowin'
softly in to Armours an' comes out glue, beef, gelatine, fertylizer,
celooloid, joolry, sofy cushions, hair restorer, washin' sody,
soap, lithrachoor an' hed springs so quick that while aft she's
still cow, for'ard she may be annything fr'm huttons to Pannyma
hats. I can go fr'm Chicago to New York in twinty hours, but I
don't have to, thank th' Lord. Thirty years ago we thought 'twas
marvelous to be able to tillygraft a man in Saint Joe an' get an
answer that night. Now, be wireless tillygraft ye can get an answer
befure ye sind th' tillygram if they ain't careful. Me friend
Macroni has done that. Be manes iv his wondher iv science a man
on a ship in mid-ocean can sind a tillygram to a man on shore, if
he has a confid'rate on board. That's all he needs. Be mechanical
science an' thrust in th' op'rator annywan can set on th' shore
iv Noofoundland an' chat with a frind in th' County Kerry.

"Yes, sir, mechanical science has made gr-reat sthrides. Whin I
was a young man we used to think Hor'ce Greeley was th' gr-reatest
livin' American. He was a gran' man, a gran' man with feathers
beneath his chin an' specs on his nose like th' windows in a diver's
hemlet. His pollyticks an' mine cudden't live in th' same neighborhood
but he was a gran' man all th' same. We used to take th' Cleveland
Plain Daler in thim days f'r raycreation an' th' New York Thrybune
f'r exercise. 'Twas considhered a test iv a good natured dimmycrat
if he cud read an article in th' Thrybune without havin' to do th'
stations iv th' cross aftherward f'r what he said. I almost did
wanst but they was a line at th' end about a frind iv mine be th'
name iv Andhrew Jackson an' I wint out an' broke up a Methodist
prayer meetin'. He was th' boy that cud put it to ye so that if
ye voted th' dimmycrat tickit it was jus' th' same as demandin'
a place in purgytory. Th' farmers wud plant annything fr'm a
ruty baga to a congressman on his advice. He niver