women or th' revarse, f'r political principles or unprincipled
politics, f'r th' gate receipts, f'r me relligion, f'r th' look
iv th' thing, because th' barkeeper heard what he said, because he
whispered to her, f'r th' sacred theery that th' buildin's is higher
in Chicago thin in New York, f'r th' fun iv th' thing, an' f'r th'
Fight. That last's th' best iv all. A man that won't fight f'r
th' fight itsilf is no rale fighter. I don't know what wud make
me fight nowadays. I know lots iv things that wud make me want
to fight, but I've larned to repress me desires. Me heart is full
iv song but I've lost me voice. In me dhreams I'm always punchin'
somebody's head. I shall niver f'rget th' night whin I put Jeffries
out iv th' business with wan well-directed punch an' me in me bare
feet, too. I can niver f'rget it f'r I fell out iv bed and bumped
me head again' th' rocker iv a chair. But in me wakin' hours, I'm
a man iv vi'lent impulses an' peaceful raysults. In a fight I'd
be like a deef-mute in a debatin' s'ciety. But as I said, Hinnissy,
they was a day whin th' lightest wurrud was an insult. Nowadays
I say to mesilf: 'Considher th' soorce. How can such a low blaggard
as that insult me? Jus' because some dhrunken wretch chooses to
apply a foul epitaph to me, am I goin' to dignify him be knockin'
him down in th' public sthreet an' p'raps not, an' gettin' th'
head beat off me? No, sir. I will raymimber me position in th'
community. I will pass on with a smile iv bitter contempt. Maybe
I'd betther run a little.'

"Th' las' throuble I got into I begun to think iv th' new suit I
had on an' I knew me warryor days was over. Whin a man raymimbers
his clothes or his appearance in battle, 'tis high time f'r him
to retire fr'm th' ring. Th' ca'm, almost deathlike smile that
rests upon a man's face whin another man is cloutin' him about is
on'y th' outward exprission iv something about two numbers up th'
chest fr'm sea sickness. That's all I've got to say about fightin'.
Ye can't lay down anny rules about it."

"Ye niver will go to th' Sinit with thim views," said Mr. Hennessy.

"I don't want to," said Mr. Dooley. "Some day th' Sinit will be
pulled."

Home Life of Geniuses

"A woman ought to be careful who she marries," said Mr. Dooley.

"So ought a man," said Mr. Hennessy, with feeling.

"It don't make so much diff'rence about him," said Mr. Dooley.
"Whin a man's marrid, he's a marrid man. That's