ssy, taken
on his sicond birthday with his nurse, Miss Angybel Blim, th'
well-known specyal nurse iv th' Avenin' Fluff. At th' time th'
phottygraft was taken, th' infant was about to bite Miss Blim which
accounts f'r th' agynized exprission on that gifted writer's face.
Th' Avenin Fluff offers a prize iv four dollars to th' best answer
to th' question: "What does th' baby think iv Miss Blim?"'

"'Young Alf Hinnissy was siven years ol' yisterdah. A rayporther
iv th' Fluff sought him out an' indeavored to intherview him on
th' Nicaragooan Canal, th' Roomanyan Jews, th' tahriff an' th'
thrusts. Th' comin' statesman rayfused to be dhrawn on these
questions, his answer bein' a ready, "Go chase ye'ersilf, ye big
stiff!" Afther a daylightful convarsation th' rayporther left,
bein' followed to th' gate be his janial young host who hit him
smartly in th' back with a brick. He is a chip iv th' ol' block.'

"'Groton, Conn., April 8. Ye'er rayporther was privileged to see
th' oldest son iv th' Hon'rable Malachi Hinnissy started at this
siminary f'r th' idjacation iv young Englishmen bor-rn in America.
Th' heir iv th' Hinnissys was enthered at th' exclusive school
thirty years befure he was bor-rn. Owin' to th' uncertainty iv
his ancesthors he was also enthered at Vassar. Th' young fellow
took a lively intherest in th' school. Th' above phottygraft
riprisints him mathriculatin'. Th' figures at th' foot ar-re
Misther an' Mrs. Hinnissy. Those at th' head ar-re Profissor
Peabody Plantagenet, prisident iv th' instichoochion an' Officer
Michael H. Rafferty. Young Hinnissy will remain here till he has
a good cukkin' idjacation.'

"'Exthry Red Speshul Midnight Edition. Mumps! Mumps! Mumps! Th'
heir iv th' Hinnissy's sthricken with th' turr'ble scoorge. Panic
on th' stock exchange. Bereaved father starts f'r th' plague spot
to see his afflicted son. Phottygrafts iv Young Hinnissy at wan,
two, three, eight an' tin. Phottygrafts iv th' house where his
father was born, his mother, his aunt, his uncle, Profissor
Plantagenet, Groton School, th' gov'nor iv Connecticut, Chansy
Depoo, statue iv Liberty, Thomas Jefferson, Niagara Falls be
moonlight. Diagram iv jaw an' head showin' th' prob'ble coorse
iv the Mumpococeus. Intherviews with J. Pierpont Morgan, Terry
McGovern, Mary MeLain, Jawn Mitchell, Lyman J. Gage, th' Prince
iv Wales, Sinitor Bivridge, th' Earl iv Roslyn, an' Chief Divry
on Mumps. We offer a prize iv thirty m