se he's honest is like
ilictin' him to Congress because he's a pathrite, because he don't
bate his wife or because he always wears a right boot on th' right
foot. A man ought to be honest to start with an' afther that he
ought to be crafty. A pollytician who's on'y honest is jus' th'
same as bein' out in a winther storm without anny clothes on.

"Another thing about rayform administhrations is they always think
th' on'y man that ought to hold a job is a lawyer. Th' raison is
that in th' coorse iv his thrainin' a lawyer larns enough about
ivrything to make a good front on anny subject to annybody who
doesn't know about it. So whin th' rayform administhration comes
in th' mayor says: 'Who'll we make chief iv polis in place iv th'
misguided ruffyan who has held th' job f'r twinty years?' 'Th' man
f'r th' place,' says th' mayor's adviser, 'is Arthur Lightout,'
he says. 'He's an ixcillent lawyer, Yale, '95, an' is well up on
polis matthers. Las' year he read a paper on "The fine polis
foorce iv London" befure th' annyal meetin' iv th' S'ciety f'r
Ladin' th' Mulligan Fam'ly to a Betther an' Harder Life. Besides,'
he says, 'he's been in th' milishy an' th' foorce needs a man
who'll be afraid not to shoot in case iv public disturbance.' So
Arthur takes hold iv th' constabulary an' in a year th' polis can
all read Emerson an' th' burglars begin puttin' up laddhers an'
block an' tackles befure eight A.M. An' so it is on ivry side.
A lawyer has charge iv the city horse-shoein', another wan is
clanin' th' sthreets, th' author iv 'Gasamagoo on torts' is thryin'
to dispose iv th' ashes be throwin' thim in th' air on a windy day,
an' th' bright boy that took th' silver ware f'r th' essay on ne
exeats an' their relation to life is plannin' a uniform that will
be sarviceable an' constitchoochinal f'r th' brave men that wurruks
on th' city dumps. An' wan day th' main rayformer goes out expictin'
to rayceive th' thanks iv th' community an' th' public that has
jus' got out iv jail f'r lettin' th' wather run too long in th'
bath tub rises up an' cries: 'Back to th' Univarsity Settlemint.'
Th' man with th' di'mon' in his shirt front comes home an' pushes
th' honest lawyers down th' steps, an' a dishonest horse shoer
shoes th' city's horses well, an' a crooked plumber does th' city's
plumbin' securely, an' a rascally polisman that may not be avarse
to pickin' up a bet but will always find out whin Pathrolman
Scanlan slept on his be