onnecting
anything, such as 'The horse is hitched to the fence by his halter.'
'Halter' is a conjunction, because it connects the horse and the
fence."

A young man poured out a long story of adventure to a Boston girl.
Surprised, she asked:

"Did you really do that?"

"I done it," answered the proud young man. He began another narrative,
more startling than the first.

When she again expressed her surprise, he said, with inflated chest,
"I done it."

"Do you know," remarked the girl, "you remind me strongly of Banquo's
Ghost?"

"Why?"

"Don't you remember that Macbeth said to him, 'Thou canst not say, "I
did it"'?" and the young man wondered why everybody laughed.

An English professor, traveling through the hills, noted various
quaint expressions. For instance, after a long ride the professor
sought provisions at a mountain hut.

"What d' yo'-all want?" called out a woman.

"Madam," said the professor, "can we get corn bread here? We'd like to
buy some of you."

"Corn bread? Corn bread, did yo' say?" Then she chuckled to herself,
and her manner grew amiable. "Why, if corn bread's all yo' want, come
right in, for that's just what I hain't got nothing else on hand but."

Charles B. Towns, the antidrug champion, spent some time in China
several years ago with Samuel Merwin, the writer. In a Hongkong
shop-window they noticed some Chinese house-coats of particularly
striking designs and stepped in to purchase one. Mr. Towns asked Mr.
Merwin to do the bargaining.

"Wantum coatee," said Mr. Merwin to the sleepy-eyed Oriental who
shuffled up with a grunt. He placed several of the coats before them.

"How muchee Melican monee?" inquired Mr. Merwin.

"It would aid me in transacting this sale," said the Chinaman, "if you
would confine your language to your mother tongue. The coat is seven
dollars."

Mr. Merwin took it.

Grace's uncle met her on the street one spring day and asked her
whether she was going out with a picnic party from her school.

"No," replied his eight-year-old niece, "I ain't going."

"My dear," said the uncle, "you must not say, 'I ain't going.' You
must say, 'I am not going.'" And he proceeded to give her a little
lesson in grammar: "'You are not going. He is not going. We are not
going. You are not going. They are not going.' Now, can you say all
that?"

"Sure I can," responded Grace quite heartily. "There ain't nobody
going."--_Harper's_.

"What is the plural of man