end comes."

WIFE OF DYING FIRST-NIGHTER--"Yes, we will. He will get up and go out
about five minutes before the end."--_Puck_.

HURRY--"What's happened to Speeder. I haven't seen him for weeks?"

CANE--"Oh, he tried all the different makes of cars and then bought an
aeroplane."

HURRY--"Has he crashed?"

CANE--"Well, not exactly. He started on a cross-country flight the
other day, heard something rattle and absent-mindedly climbed out to
look under the machine."

"For ten years," said the new boarder, "my habits were as regular as
clockwork. I rose on the stroke of six, and half an hour later was at
breakfast; at seven I was at work; dined at one; had supper at six,
and was in bed at nine thirty. Ate only plain food, and hadn't a day's
illness all the time."

"Dear me!" said a hearer, in sympathetic tones; "and what were you in
for?"

DOCTOR--"I have to report, sir, that you are the father of triplets."

POLITICIAN--"Impossible! I'll demand a recount."--_Puck_.

Ill habits gather by unseen degrees,
As brooks make rivers, rivers run to seas.

--_Dryden_.

"Habit" is hard to overcome.
If you take off the first letter, it does not change "a bit."
If you take off another, you have a "bit" left.
If you take still another the whole of "it" remains.
If you take still another, it is not "t"-totally used up.
All of which goes to show that if you wish to be rid of a
"habit," you must throw it off altogether.

"Why did your wife leave you?"

"Force of habit, I guess. She was a cook before I married her."

BRIGGS--"You mustn't take offense if I speak to you about something I
have had on my mind for some time, just a little habit of yours."

GRIGGS--"Certainly not."

BRIGGS--"Nobody has ever had the nerve to tell you before. And you are
such a splendid, noble fellow."

GRIGGS--"Yes, yes."

BRIGGS--"You're one of those fellows who never really know what is
being said to them; you're always pursuing some train of thought.
Anyone can tell half the time you are not listening by the far-away
look in your eyes. You've offended a lot of people. Of course, it's
terribly rude--only you don't know it. You mustn't any more, old chap
(putting his hands on Grigg's shoulder). Promise me you'll quit."

GRIGGS (obliged to face him)--"Just what were you saying?"

"That cashier is a cool chap."

"How so?"

"A thug with a revolver ordered him to hand out the bank's cash