h on a
fishing-trip, and it was agreed that the first man to catch a fish
should later stand treat at the inn. As MacTavish was known to be the
best fisherman thereabouts, his friends took considerable delight in
assuring him that he had as good as lost already.

"An', d'ye ken," said Jock, in speaking of it afterward, "baith o'
them had a guid bite, an' wis sae mean they wadna' pu in."

"Then you lost?" asked the listener.

"Oh, no. I didna' pit ony bait on my hook."

FISHING

UNLUCKY FISHERMAN--"Boy, will you sell that big string of fish you are
carrying?"

BOY--"No, but I'll take yer pitcher holdin' it fer fifty
cents."--_Judge_.

Two small boys went fishing and while one of them was having good
luck, the other didn't even get a bite. The unlucky lad silently
began to make preparation for departure. "Aw, wait a while," urged the
other. "You might be lucky if you keep at it."

"There ain't no use," was the disgusted reply, "my darned worm ain't
tryin'."

"Some men," said Uncle Eben, "goes fishin' not so much foh de sake of
de fish as foh de chance to loaf without bein' noticed."

FLATTERY

The man who is not injured by flattery is as hard to find as the one
who is improved by criticism.

Flattery is a sort of moral peroxide--it turns many a woman's head.

"Oi hate flattery," said O'Brien the other day. "Flattery makes ye
think ye are betther than ye are, an' no man livin' can iver be that."

THE CONVERSATIONALIST (to well-known author)--"I'm so delighted to
meet you! It was only the other day I saw something of yours, about
something or other, in some magazine."

WILBUR (indicating a couple in the background)--"Funny that such a
stunning-looking woman should marry such a dub as that."

FLATTE--"Well, I don't know. No accounting for those things. Now, you
take your wife--she's a ripper."--_Life_.

The admiration which Bob felt for his Aunt Margaret included all her
attributes.

"I don't care much for plain teeth like mine, Aunt Margaret," said
Bob, one day, after a long silence, during which he had watched her in
laughing conversation with his mother. "I wish I had some copper-toed
ones like yours."

A gentleman who discovered that he was standing on a lady's train had
the presence of mind to remark:

"Tho I may not have the power to draw an angel from the skies, I have
pinned one to the earth." The lady excused him.

"Sir," said the angry woman, "I underst