th trip to Colorado,
told his father about buying a silver mine for $3,000. "I knew they'd
rope you in!" exclaimed the old man. "So you were ass enough to buy a
humbug mine."

"Yes, but I didn't lose anything. I formed a company, and sold half
the stock to a Connecticut man for $7,000."

"Y-you did," gasped the old man as he turned white, "I'll bet I'm the
one who bought it."

"I know you are," coolly observed the young man as he crossed his legs
and tried to appear very much at home.

FISH

The teacher asked, "Who can tell me what an oyster is?"

A small hand, gesticulating violently, shot up into the air, and a
shrill voice called out. "I know; I can tell, teacher!"

"Well, Bobby," said the teacher, "you may tell us what an oyster is."

"An oyster," triumphantly answered Bobby, "is a fish built like a
nut!"

"Dinah, did you wash the fish before you baked it?"

"Law, ma'am, what's de use ob washin' er fish what's lived all his
life in de water?"

"Ma'am, here's a man at the door with a parcel for you."

"What is it, Bridget?"

"It's a fish, ma'am, and it's marked C.O.D."

"Then make the man take it back to the dealer. I ordered trout."

FISHERMEN

"I say, Gadsby," said Mr. Smith, as he entered a fishmonger's with a
lot of tackle in his hand, "I want you to give me some fish to take
home with me. Put them up to look as if they'd been caught today, will
you?"

"Certainly, sir. How many?"

"Oh, you'd better give me three or four--mackerel. Make it look decent
in quantity without appearing to exaggerate, you know."

"Yes, sir. You'd better take salmon, tho."

"Why? What makes you think so?"

"Oh, nothing, except that your wife was here early this morning and
said if you dropped in with your fishing-tackle I was to persuade you
to take salmon, if possible, as she liked that kind better than any
other."

BELLEVILLE--"Is Glenshaw getting ready for the fishing season?"

BUTLER--"Well, I saw him buying an enlarging device for his camera."

A returned vacationist tells us that he was fishing in a pond one
day when a country boy who had been watching him from a distance
approached him and asked. "How many fish yer got, mister?"

"None yet," he was told.

"Well, yer ain't doin' so bad," said the youngster. "I know a feller
what fished here for two weeks an' he didn't get any more than you got
in half an hour."

Jock MacTavish and two English friends went out on the loc