y of finding a house is not exclusively an eastern
problem. Out in Kansas, for instance, a native observed a stranger
looking around and ventured to say, "Good morning, sir, House
hunting?"

"Yes," replied the stranger. "I wonder if it could have blown this
far."

JUDGE--"You are accused of speeding. What have you to say in your
defense?"

PRISONER--"I heard of a house for rent and was trying to get there
first."

"The case is dismissed."

The taxi-driver turned at the end of the second hour and eyed his
client suspiciously.

"Are you taking me by the hour or by the day?" he asked.

"By the year," responded the haggard passenger. "I'm looking for a
home!"

VISITOR--"What's that new building on the hill yonder?"

FARMER--"Well, if I find a tenant for it, it's a bungalow; if I don't,
it's a barn."

OWENS--"My landlord has ordered me out because I can't pay my rent."

BOWENS--"Glad I met you. So has mine. Let's change quarters."

MR. MCNAB (after having his lease read over to him)--"I will not sign
that: I havena' been able tae keep Ten Commandments for a mansion in
Heaven, an' I'm no' guan tae tackle aboot a hundred for twa rooms in
the High Street!"

_See also_ Apartments.

HUNGER

OLD LADY (to mendicant)--"But--my good man, your story has such a
hollow ring."

"Yes, missis--that's the natural result of speaking with an empty
stummick."

Hunger is the teacher of the arts and the bestower of
invention.--_Persius_.

HUNTING

As the camper was cleaning his gun, along came a woodsman.

"Been hunting today?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Shot anything?"

"I don't know yet. I'm waiting for the rest of the party to get into
camp so we can call the roll."

FIRST SIMPLE NIMROD--"Hey, don't shoot. Your gun isn't loaded."

HIS PARTNER--"Can't help that; the bird won't wait."

The very small boy with the very large gun was standing in a country
road.

"What are you hunting, bub?" asked a passer-by.

"I dunno," he replied, frankly. "I ain't seen it yet."

HURRY

_See_ Haste.

HUSBANDS

To say of a man that he will make a good husband is much the same sort
of a compliment as to say of a horse that he is perfectly safe for a
woman to drive.--_Puck_.

If you marry a widow it is safe to take one whose first trial served
a term in jail, then you won't have the perfect example always held up
before you.

"Mother," asked Tommy, "do fairy tales al