e third had hidden his bill in a crevice in the floor of his room,
but a mouse had nibbled it to bits to build her nest.

The fourth nephew calmly produced his $100.00 bill, as crisp and as
fresh as when it had been given him.

"And where did you hide it?" asked his uncle.

"Too easy! I stuck it in a hotel bible."

--_Carolyn Wells_.

HOTELS

A bellhop passed through the hall of the St. Francis Hotel whistling
loudly.

"Young man," said Manager Woods sternly, "you should know that it is
against the rules of this hotel for an employee to whistle while on
duty."

"I am not whistling, sir," replied the boy, "I'm paging Mrs. Jones'
dog."

A tall, gaunt-looking person recently entered a hotel in a town where
several fires had occurred and applied for a room at a price which
entitled him to lodging on the top floor of the house. Among his
belongings the proprietor noticed a coil of rope, and asked what it
was for.

"That's a fire escape," said the man, "I carry one with me so I can
let myself down from the window without troubling anyone."

"Good plan," said the landlord, "but guests with fire escapes like
that pay in advance at this hotel."

DEPARTING GUEST--"Enjoyed ourselves? Oh yes! What I'm upset about is
leaving your hotel so soon after I've bought it."

A commercial traveler, on leaving a certain hotel, said to the
proprietor: "Pardon me, but with what material do you stuff the beds
in your establishment?"

"Why," said the landlord, proudly, "with the best straw to be found in
the whole country!"

"That," returned the traveler, "is very interesting. I now know whence
the straw came that broke the camel's back."

ARCHITECT (enthusiastically showing plans of hotel)--"On the first
floor, next to the dining-room, is the ladies' smoking-room; over here
is the men's writing-room; here is the blue lecture-room where the
suffrage meetings are to be held; next to it is the pink tea-room.
Directly over it, on the second floor, is the music-room, where the
Tuesday recitals will be given; behind it is the little theater for
the Saturday tableaux. The ballroom is on the third floor, and on the
fourth--"

HOTEL PROPRIETOR (interrupting)--"That's all very nice. But where are
the guests' rooms?"

ARCHITECT--"Bless my soul! I forgot all about them!"

"John, dear," wrote a lady from the Capital, "I enclose the hotel
bill."

"Dear Jane, I enclose a check," wrote John in reply; "but please do