for admission to the League of
Nations or just let America represent him for the present.--_Punch
(London)_.

A census-taker was working in lower New York on the East Side, and
came to a tenement that was literally crowded with children. To the
woman who was bending over the washtub he said:

"Madam, I am the census-taker; how many children have you?"

"Well, lemme see," replied the woman, as she straightened up and wiped
her hands on her apron. "There's Mary and Ellen and Delia and Susie
and Emma and Tommy and Albert and Eddie and Charlie and Frank and--"

"Madam," interrupted the census man, "if you could just give me the
number--"

"Number!" she exclaimed, indignantly. "I want you to understand that
we ain't got to numberin' 'em yet. We ain't run out o' names!"

The census man when taking the census in a certain Canadian town asked
of the head of the family the usual questions, one being, "How many
children have you?"

The man answered, "Oh, I don't know, ten, twelve, fourteen or so. I
know a barrel of flour lasts pretty damn quick."

_See also_ Bluffing.

FARMING

"It used to be said that anybody could farm--that about all that
was required was a strong back and a weak mind," mused the gaunt
Missourian. "But now'-days, to be a successful farmer a feller must
have a good head and a wide education in order to understand the
advice ladled out to him from all sides by city men and to select for
use that which will do him the least damage."

PROFESSOR AT AGRICULTURAL SCHOOL--"What kinds of farming are there?"

NEW STUDENT--"Extensive, intensive, and pretensive."

They were having an argument as to whether it was correct to say of a
hen she is "setting" or "sitting," and, not being able to arrive at a
satisfactory conclusion, they decided to submit the problem to Farmer
Giles.

"My friends," said he, "that don't interest me at all. What I wants to
know when I hear a hen cackle is whether she be laying or lying."

"How many head o' live stock you got on the place?"

"Live stock?" echoed the somewhat puzzled farmer. "What d' ye mean
by live stock? I got four steam-tractors and sevenautomobiles."--_Judge_.

The city youth secured a job with Farmer Jones. The morning after his
arrival, promptly at 4 o'clock, the farmer rapped on his door and told
him to get up. The youth protested.

"What for?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Why, we're going to cut oats," replied the farmer.

"Ar