ut the giver is bare.

--_Lowell_.

He gives twice who gives quickly.--_Syrus_.

A gallant Tommy, having received from England an anonymous gift of
socks, entered them at once, for he was about to undertake a heavy
march. He was soon prey to the most excruciating agony, and when, a
mere cripple, he drew off his foot-gear at the end of a terrible day,
he discovered inside the toe of the sock what had once been a piece of
stiff writing-paper, now reduced to pulp, and on it appeared in bold,
feminine hand the almost illegible benediction: "God bless the wearer
of this pair of socks!"--_Punch_.

We like the gift when we the giver prize.--_Sheffield_.

_See also_ Christmas gifts.

GIRLS

Son has just begun to go to school, and has much to say about the new
little girls he meets, but every few days it is a different girl
that attracts him. His mother said, "I'm afraid, son, that you are
changeable."

"'Tain't me that changes, mom," he answered; "it's them, when you know
them better."

Girls we love for what they are; young men for what they promise to
be.--_Goethe_.

GOD

A little girl traveling in a sleeping-car with her parents greatly
objected to being put in an upper berth. She was assured that papa,
mama, and God would watch over her. She was settled in the berth at
last and the passengers were quiet for the night, when a small voice
piped:

"Mama!"

"Yes, dear."

"You there?"

"Yes, I'm here. Now go to sleep."

"Papa, you there?"

"Yes, I'm here. Go to sleep like a good girl."

This continued at intervals for some time until a fellow passenger
lost patience and called:

"We're all here! Your father and mother and brothers and sisters and
uncles and aunts and first cousins. All here. Now go to sleep!"

There was a brief pause after this explosion. Then the tiny voice
piped up again, but very softly:

"Mama!"

"Well?"

"Was that God?"

GOLF

FIRST NEWSBOY--"Chimmie's got a job as caddie for a golf club. Is dere
much money in dat?"

SECOND DITTO--"De salary ain't much, but dey makes a lot extra backin'
up fellers when dey lies about de scores dey made."

An Irishman was suddenly struck by a golf-ball.

"Are you hurt?" asked the player. "Why didn't you get out of the way?"

"An' why should I get out of the way?" asked Pat. "I didn't know there
was any assassins round here."

"But I called 'fore,'" said the player, "and when I say 'fore,' that