in learn."

A man named Dodgin was recently appointed foreman at the gas works,
but his name was not known to all the employees. One day while on
his rounds he came across two men sitting in a corner, smoking, and
stopped near them.

"Who are you?" said one of the men.

"I'm Dodgin, the new foreman," he replied.

"So are we," replied the other workers, "sit down and have a smoke."

ENEMIES

Speak well of your enemies. Remember you made them.

The fine and noble way to kill a foe
Is not to kill him; you with kindness may
So change him, that he shall cease to be so;
Then he's slain.

--_Aleyn_.

ENGLISH LANGUAGE

By way of enlarging the children's vocabulary, our village
school-teacher is in the habit of giving them a certain word and
asking them to form a sentence in which that word occurs. The other
day she gave the class the word "notwithstanding." There was a pause,
and then a bright-faced youngster held up his hand.

"Well, what is your sentence, Tommy?" asked the teacher.

"Father wore his trousers out, but notwithstanding."

TILDA--"Pass the 'lasses."

LIZZIE (who has attended school)--"Don't say ''lasses.' Say molasses."

TILDA--"How come I say mo' 'lasses when I ain't had none yet?"

_Jailless Crimes_

Killing time.
Hanging pictures.
Stealing bases.
Shooting the chutes.
Choking off a speaker.
Running over a new song.
Smothering a laugh.
Setting fire to a heart.
Knifing a performance.
Murdering the English language.--_Judge_.

"Now, boys," said the schoolmaster, "I want you to bear in mind that
the word 'stan' at the end of a word means 'the place of.' Thus we
have Afghanistan--the place of the Afghans; also Hindustan--the place
of the Hindus. Can any one give me another example?"

Nobody appeared very anxious to do so, until little Johnny Snaggs, the
joy of his mother and the terror of the cats, said proudly--

"Yes, sir, I can. Umbrellastan--the place for umbrellas."

He went into a shop to buy a comb. He was a man careful of other
people's grammar, and believed himself to be careful of his own.

"Do you want a narrow man's comb?" asked the assistant.

"No," answered the careful grammarian, "I want a comb for a stout man
with tortoiseshell teeth."

TEACHER--"Thomas, will you tell me what a conjunction is, and compose
a sentence containing one?"

THOMAS (after reflection)--"A conjunction is a word c