"Now this is a secret and you mustn't tell anybody."

"Rest assured that I won't tell that secret to anybody, dear. I have
no desire to figure as a female Rip Van Winkle. That secret is at
least three weeks old."

Women talk among themselves about other people. Men talk to other
people about themselves.

If you want to know a woman
Who can play a game of tag
With Truth until it's spent beyond repair,
Who can start a thousand rumors,
Set ten thousand tongues a-wag
Till there's nothing left of Gospel in the air,
Who can get you into trouble
And your reputation smirch--
It's Mrs. Grundy
On a Sunday
When she's walking home from church.

--_Katharine Eggleston Roberts_.

"They tell me that woman is a gossip. Do you think she is reliable?"

"I know that whatever she says goes."

"It's just an idle rumor."

"Well, my wife's bridge club is in session. If those ladies get hold
of that idle rumor, they'll soon put it to work."

A gossip is one who can make a mountain out of a molehill and then
bring it to you.

Conversation being dull at an evening party, the hostess requested one
of her guests to go home, that the rest might have somebody to talk
about.

GOVERNMENT OWNERSHIP

They were looking down into the depths of the Grand Canon.

"Do you know," asked the guide, "that it took millions and millions of
years for this great abyss to be carved out?"

"Well, well!" ejaculated the traveler. "I never knew this was a
government job."

"I presume you're mighty glad the war is over."

"Well, I don' jes' know about dat," answered Mandy. "Cose I'se glad to
have my Sam back home an' all dat, but I jes' know I ain't never gwine
t'get money from him so regular as I did while he wuz in de Army an'
de Government wuz handlin' his financial affairs."

"So you approve of the Government's action in taking over the
railroads."

"Yep," replied Mr. Growcher. "I approve of that and prohibition for
several reasons, one of them being that now a lot of people can quit
lecturing on the subject and go to work."

NULLERFORD--"Do you know anybody who favors government control of the
railroads?"

FONDERHAM--"I know one man. He lives fifty miles from the nearest
rail; never does any traveling or shipping; has a son who's a
conductor, a nephew who's a brakeman, a daughter who works in a
railroad office, and two grandsons who are going to be firemen."