, Jerrold! Now I
never break a glass."--"I wonder at that," was Jerrold's instant reply,
"you ought whenever _you look in one_."

CCXXVIII.--UNION IS STRENGTH.

A KIND-HEARTED, but somewhat weak-headed, parishioner in the far north
got into the pulpit of the parish church one Sunday before the minister,
who happened on that day to be rather behind time. "Come down, Jamie,"
said the minister, "that's my place."--"Come ye up, sir," replied Jamie;
"they are a stiff-necked and rebellious generation the people o' this
place, and it will _take us baith_ to manage them."

CCXXIX.--FRENCH PRECIPITATION.

THE late Mr. Petion, who was sent over into this country to acquire a
knowledge of our criminal law, is said to have declared himself
thoroughly informed upon the subject, after remaining precisely
_two-and-thirty minutes_ in the Old Bailey.

CCXXX.--MAKING IT UP.

AN attorney being informed by his cook that there was not dinner enough
provided, upon one occasion when _company_ were expected, he asked if
she had _brothed_ the clerks. She replied that she had done so. "Well
then," said he, "broth 'em _again_."

CCXXXI.--OLD STORIES OVER AGAIN.

BUBB DODDINGTON was very lethargic. Falling asleep one day, after dinner
with Sir Richard Temple and Lord Cobham, the latter reproached
Doddington with his drowsiness. Doddington denied having been asleep;
and to prove he had not, offered to repeat all Lord Cobham had been
saying. Cobham challenged him to do so. Doddington repeated a story; and
Lord Cobham owned he had been telling it. "Well," said Doddington, "and
yet I did not hear a word of it; but I went to sleep, because I knew
that about this time of day _you would tell that story_."

CCXXXII.--HUMOR UNDER DIFFICULTIES.

A CRITIC one day talked to Jerrold about the humor of a celebrated
novelist, dramatist, and poet, who was certainly no humorist.

"Humor!" exclaimed Jerrold, "why he sweats at a joke, like a Titan at a
thunderbolt!"

CCXXXIII.--EQUALITY.

SOME one was praising our public schools to Charles Landseer, and said,
"All our best men were public school men. Look at our poets. There's
Byron, he was a Harrow boy--"--"Yes," interrupted Charles, "and there's
Burns,--he was a _ploughboy_."

CCXXXIV.--QUITE NATURAL.

"DID any of you ever see an elephant's skin?" asked the master of an
infant school in a fast neighborhood.--"_I_ have!" shoute