the greater _calf_ he grew."

CLXXIX.--ON THE RIGHT SIDE.

IT was said of one that remembered everything that he lent, but nothing
that he borrowed, "that he had _lost half_ of his memory."

CLXXX.--CAUSE OF ABSENCE.

WHEN the late Lord Campbell married Miss Scarlett, and departed on his
wedding trip, Mr. Justice Abbott observed, when a cause was called on in
the Bench, "I thought, Mr. Brougham, that Mr. Campbell was in this
case?"--"Yes, my lord," replied Brougham, "but I understand he is
ill--suffering from _Scarlett fever_."

CLXXXI.--THE SCOLD'S VOCABULARY.

THE copiousness of the English language perhaps was never more apparent
than in the following character, by a lady, of her own husband:--

"He is," says she, "an abhorred, barbarous, capricious, detestable,
envious, fastidious, hard-hearted, illiberal, ill-natured, jealous,
keen, loathsome, malevolent, nauseous, obstinate, passionate,
quarrelsome, raging, saucy, tantalizing, uncomfortable, vexatious,
abominable, bitter, captious, disagreeable, execrable, fierce, grating,
gross, hasty, malicious, nefarious, obstreperous, peevish, restless,
savage, tart, unpleasant, violent, waspish, worrying, acrimonious,
blustering, careless, discontented, fretful, growling, hateful,
inattentive, malignant, noisy, odious, perverse, rigid, severe, teasing,
unsuitable, angry, boisterous, choleric, disgusting, gruff, hectoring,
incorrigible, mischievous, negligent, offensive, pettish, roaring,
sharp, sluggish, snapping, snarling, sneaking, sour, testy, tiresome,
tormenting, touchy, arrogant, austere, awkward, boorish, brawling,
brutal, bullying, churlish, clamorous, crabbed, cross, currish, dismal,
dull, dry, drowsy, grumbling, horrid, huffish, insolent, intractable,
irascible, ireful, morose, murmuring, opinionated, oppressive,
outrageous, overbearing, petulant, plaguy, rough, rude, rugged,
spiteful, splenetic, stern, stubborn, stupid, sulky, sullen, surly,
suspicious, treacherous, troublesome, turbulent, tyrannical, virulent,
wrangling, yelping dog-in-a-manger."

CLXXXII.--A FAMILIAR ILLUSTRATION.

A MEDICAL student under examination, being asked the different effects
of heat and cold, replied: "Heat expands and cold contracts."--"Quite
right; can you give me an example?"--"Yes, sir, in summer, which is hot,
the days are longer; but in winter, which is _cold_, the days are
_shorter_."

CLXXXIII.--HAPPINESS.

HAPPINES