CLXVII.--SPECIAL PLEADING.

WHEN a very eminent special pleader was asked by a country gentleman if
he considered that his son was likely to succeed as a special pleader,
he replied, "Pray, sir, can your son _eat saw-dust without butter_?"

CLXVIII.--ON A NEW DUKE.

ASK you why gold and velvet bind
The temples of that cringing thief?
Is it so strange a thing to find
A toad beneath a strawberry leaf?

CLXIX.--THE ZODIAC CLUB.

ON the occasion of starting a convivial club, somebody proposed that it
should consist of twelve members, and be called "The Zodiac," each
member to be named after a sign.

"And what shall I be?" inquired a somewhat solemn man, who was afraid
that his name would be forgotten.

_Jerrold._--"Oh, we'll bring you in as the _weight_ in Libra."

CLXX.--QUIN'S SOLILOQUY ON SEEING THE EMBALMED BODY OF DUKE
HUMPHREY, AT ST. ALBAN'S.

"A PLAGUE on Egypt's arts, I say--
Embalm the dead--on senseless clay
Rich wine and spices waste:
Like sturgeon, or like brawn, shall I,
Bound in a precious pickle lie,
Which I can never taste!
Let me embalm this flesh of mine,
With turtle fat, and Bourdeaux wine,
And spoil the Egyptian trade,
Than Glo'ster's Duke, more happy I,
Embalm'd alive, old Quin shall lie
A mummy ready made."

CLXXI.--STRIKING REPROOF.

IT being reported that Lady Caroline Lamb had, in a moment of passion,
knocked down one of her pages with a stool, the poet Moore, to whom this
was told by Lord Strangford, observed: "Oh! nothing is more natural for
a literary lady than to double down a page."--"I would rather," replied
his lordship, "advise Caroline to _turn over a new leaf_."

CLXXII.--A PRETTY PICTURE.

E---- taking the portrait of a lady, perceived that when he was working
at her mouth she was trying to render it smaller by contracting her
lips. "Do not trouble yourself so much, madam," exclaimed the painter;
"if you please, I will draw your face _without any mouth_ at all."

CLXXIII.--UNKNOWN TONGUE.

DURING the long French war, two old ladies in Stranraer were going to
the kirk, the one said to the other, "Was it no a wonderfu' thing that
the Breetish were aye victorious ower the French in battle?"--"Not a
bit," said the other old lady, "dinna ye ken the Breetish aye say their
prayers before ga'in into battle?" The other