loped, leaving a note, bidding her
idolizing husband good bye, and requesting him not to mourn for the
children, as "none of them were his."

TELLING ONE'S AGE.

A LADY, complaining how rapidly time stole away, said, "Alas! I am near
thirty." Scarron, who was present, and knew her age, said, "Do not fret
at it, madam; for you will get further from that frightful epoch every
day."

ALL FLESH IS DUST.

"MAMMA," said a promising youth of some four or five years, "if all
people are made of dust, ain't niggers made of coal-dust?"

TALLEYRAND.

AT a time when public affairs were in a very unsettled state, a
gentleman, who squinted terribly, asked Talleyrand how things were going
on. "Why, as you see, Sir," was the reply.

KITCHINER AND COLMAN.

THE most celebrated wits and _bon vivans_ of the day graced the
dinner-table of the late Dr. Kitchiner, and, _inter alios_, the late
George Colman, who was an especial favourite; his interpolation of a
little monosyllable in a written admonition which the doctor caused to
be placed on the mantel-piece of the dining-parlour will never be
forgotten, and was the origin of such a drinking bout as was seldom
permitted under his roof. The caution ran thus: "Come at seven, go at
eleven." Colman briefly altered the sense of it; for, upon the Doctor's
attention being directed to the card, he read, to his astonishment,
"Come at seven, go it at eleven!" which the guests did, and the claret
was punished accordingly.

CREDIT.

AMONG the witty aphorisms upon this unsafe topic, are Lord Alvanley's
description of a man who "muddled away his fortune in paying his
tradesmen's bills;" Lord Orford's definition of timber, "an excrescence
on the face of the earth, placed there by Providence for the payment of
debts;" and Pelham's argument, that it is respectable to be arrested,
because it shows that the party once had credit.

SWIFT.

IN the reign of King William, it happened that the king had either
chosen or actually taken this motto for his stage coach in Ireland: "Non
rapui, sed recepi,"--"I did not steal it, but received it," alluding to
his being called to the throne by the people. This was reported to Swift
by one of the court emissaries. "And what," said he to the Dean, "do you
think the Prince of Orange has chosen for his motto?" "Dutch cheese,"
said the Dean. "No," said the gentleman, "but 'non rapui, sed recepi.'"
"Aye," said the De