where he was to officiate as judge, Lord
Ellenborough proceeded to array himself for his appearance in the
court-house. "Now," said he, "where's my wig,--where _is_ my wig?" "My
Lord," replied his attendant, "it was thrown out of the carriage
window."

A SINGULAR FORGIVENESS.

SIR Walter Scott, in his article in the _Quarterly Review_, on the
Culloden papers, mentions a characteristic instance of an old Highland
warrior's mode of pardon. "You must forgive even your bitterest enemy,
Kenmuir, now," said the confessor to him, as he lay gasping on his
death-bed. "Well, if I must, I must," replied the Chieftain, "but my
curse be on you, Donald," turning towards his son, "if you forgive
him."

CABBAGE AND DITTO.

WE have just now heard a cabbage story which we will cook up for our
laughter loving readers:

"Oh! I love you like anything," said a young countryman to his
sweetheart, warmly pressing her hand.

"Ditto," said she gently returning his pressure.

The ardent lover, not happening to be over and above learned, was sorely
puzzled to understand the meaning of ditto--but was ashamed to expose
his ignorance by asking the girl. He went home, and the next day being
at work in a cabbage patch with his father, he spoke out:

"Daddy, what's the meaning of ditto?"

"Why," said the old man, "this here is one cabbage head, ain't it?"

"Yes, daddy."

"Well, that ere's ditto."

"Rot that good-for-nothing gal!" ejaculated the indignant son; "she
called me a cabbage head, and I'll be darned if ever I go to see her
again."

FLAG AT HALF-MAST.

AN old sailor, at the theatre, said he supposed that dancing girls wore
their dresses at half-mast as a mark of respect to departed modesty.

LONGFELLOW.

SOME one having lavishly lauded Longfellow's aphorism, "Suffer, and be
strong," a matter-of-fact man observed that it was merely a variation of
the old English adage, "Grin, and bear it."

A SORREL SHEEP.

SOME years ago, a bill was up before the Alabama Legislature for
establishing a Botanical College at Wetumpka. Several able speakers had
made long addresses in support of the bill when one Mr. Morrisett, from
Monroe, took the floor. With much gravity he addressed the House as
follows: "Mr. Speaker, I cannot support this bill unless assured that a
distinguished friend of mine is made one of the professors. He is what
the bill wishes to make for us, a regular root doctor, and will