CLASSICAL BULL. MILTON.

ADAM, the goodliest of _men since born His sons; the fairest of her
daughters Eve_.

GIVE THE DEVIL HIS DUE.

AT the grand entertainment given at Vauxhall in July, 1813, to celebrate
the victories of the Marquis of Wellington, the fire-works, prepared
under the direction of General Congreve, were the theme of universal
admiration. The General himself was present, and being in a circle where
the conversation turned on monumental inscriptions, he observed that
nothing could be finer than the short epitaph on Purcel, in Westminster
Abbey.

"He has gone to that place where only his own Harmony can be exceeded."

"Why, General," said a lady, "it will suit you exactly, with the
alteration of a single word.

"He is gone to that place, where only his own _Fire-Works_ can be
exceeded."

A SOUND REASON.

A CERTAIN cabinet minister being asked why he did not promote merit?
"Because," answered he, "merit did not promote me."

MODERN IMPROVEMENTS.

AN eminent barrister arguing a cause respecting the infringement of a
patent for buckles, took occasion to hold forth on its vast improvement;
and by way of example, taking one of his own out of his shoe, "What,"
exclaimed he, "would my ancestors have said to see my feet ornamented
with this?" "Aye," observed Mr. Mingay, "what would they have said to
see your feet ornamented with either shoes or stockings?"

A HOOSIER AT THE ASTOR.

B. MET on the train an elderly Hoosier, who had been to the show-case
exhibition at New York, and who had seen the _hi po dro me_, as he
called it.

"Did you remain long in New York?" asked B.

"Well, no," he answered thoughtfully, "only two days, for I saw there
was a right smart chance of starving to death, and I'm opposed to that
way of going down. I put up at one of their taverns, and allowed I was
going to be treated to the whole."

"Where did you stop?" said B., interrupting him.

"At the Astor House. I allow you don't ketch me in no such place again.
They rung a _gong_, as they call it, four times after breakfast, and
then, when I went to eat, there wasn't nary vittles on the table."

"What was there?" B. ventured to inquire.

"Well," said the old man, enumerating the items cautiously, as if from
fear of omission--"there was a clean plate wrong side up, a knife, a
clean towel, a split spoon, and a hand bill, and what was worse," added
the old man, "the insultin' ni