an, "but it is an old saying and a true one, '_The
receiver is as bad as the thief._'"

ALL CORNED.

A SHOWMAN giving entertainments in Lafayette, Ind., was offered by one
man a bushel of corn for admission. The manager declined it, saying that
all the members of his company had been corned for the last week.

THE SEWING MACHINE.

"WHAT do you think of the new sewing machine?" inquired a gentleman of
his friend, who was somewhat of a wag. "Oh," replied the punster, "I
consider it a capital make shift."

POLITENESS.

AN Irish officer, in battle, happening to bow, a cannon ball passed over
his head, and took off the head of a soldier who stood behind him; "You
see," said he, "that a man never loses by politeness."

GEORGE SELWYN.

GEORGE SELWYN, as everybody knows, delighted in seeing executions; he
never missed _being in at a death_ at Tyburn. When Lord Holland (the
father of Charles Fox) was confined to bed, by a dangerous illness, he
was informed by his servant that Mr. Selwyn had recently called to
inquire for him. "On his next visit," said Lord Holland, "be sure you
let him in, whether I am alive or a corpse; for, if I am alive, I shall
have great pleasure in seeing _him_; and if I am a corpse, _he will have
great pleasure in seeing me_."

CHANCERY PUN.

LORD ELDON (the Chancellor) related of his predecessor, _Lord Erskine_,
that, being at a dinner party with Captain Parry, after his first voyage
of discovery, he (Lord Erskine) asked the intrepid navigator, what
himself and his hardy crew lived on, when frozen up in the polar seas.
"On _the Seals_, to be sure," replied Parry. "And a very good living,
too," said the ex-chancellor, "if you keep them long enough!"--_Twiss's
Life of Lord Eldon._

KILTS.

I SHALL be off to the Highlands this fall; but cuss 'em, they han't got
no woods there; nuthin' but heather, and that's only high enough to tear
your clothes. That's the reason the Scotch don't wear no breeches; they
don't like to get 'em ragged up that way for everlastinly; they can't
afford it; so they let 'em scratch and tear their skin, for that will
grow agin, and trousers won't.--_Sam Slick._

LORD ELLENBOROUGH.

LORD ELLENBOROUGH had infinite wit. When the income-tax was imposed, he
said that Lord Kenyon (who was not very nice in his habits) intended, in
consequence of it, to lay down--his pocket-handkerchief.

A lawyer, one day, pleading