"WHAT is your name?" "My name is Norval, on the Grampian Hills."

"Where did you come from?" "I come from a happy land, where care is
unknown."

"Where are you lodging now?" "I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls."

"Where are you going to?" "Far, far o'er hill and dell."

"What is your occupation?" "Some love to roam."

"Are you married?" "Long time ago. Polly put the kettle on."

"How many children have you?" "There's Doll, and Bet, and Moll, and
Kate, and--"

"What is your wife's name?" "O no, we never mention her."

"Did your wife oppose your leaving her?" "She wept not, when we parted."

"In what condition did you leave her?" "A rose tree in full bearing."

"Is your family provided for?" "A little farm, well tilled."

"Did your wife drive you off?" "Oh, sublime was the warning."

"What did your wife say to you, that induced you to _slope_?" "Come,
rest in this bosom."

"Was your wife good-looking?" "She wore a wreath of roses."

"Did your wife ever treat you badly?" "Oft in the stilly night."

"When you announced your intention of emigrating, what did she say?"
"Oh, dear, what can the matter be?"

"And what did you reply?" "Sweet Kitty Clover, you bother me so!"

"Where did you last see her?" "Near the lakes, where drooped the
willow."

"What did she say to you, when you were in the act of leaving?" "A place
in thy memory, dearest!"

"Do you still love her?" "'Tis said that absence conquers love."

"What are your possessions?" "The harp that once through Tara's halls--"

"What do you propose to do with it?" "I'll hang my harp on a willow
tree."

"Where do you expect to make a living?" "Over the water with Charley."

AN INSCRIPTION.

MR. CAMPBELL, a Highland gentleman, through whose estate in Argyleshire
runs the military road which was made under the direction of General
Wade, in grateful commemoration of its benefits, placed a stone seat on
the top of a hill, where the weary traveler may repose, after the labour
of his ascent, and on which is judiciously inscribed, _Rest, and be
thankful_. It has, also, the following sublime distich:

"Had you seen this road, _before it was made_,
You would lift up your hands, and bless General Wade."

PUN ALPHABETICAL.

"THERE was a man hanged this morning; one _Vowel_." "Well, let us be
thankful, _it was neither U nor I_."

SHAKSPEAREAN COOKERY.

AN argument took place in a coffee-house, between two men of _taste_, as