en a young member, possessed of
greater effrontery than ability, completely confused him, by rising and
saying, "Mr. Speaker, the honourable gentleman _has conceived three
times, and brought forth nothing_."

A SEVERE REPROOF.

THE late Duke of Grafton, one of the last of the old school of polished
gentlemen, being seated with a party of ladies in the stage-box of
Drury-lane theatre, a sprig of modern fashion came in booted and
spurred. At the end of the act, the duke rose, and made the young man a
low bow:

"I beg leave, Sir, in the name of these ladies, and for myself, to offer
you our thanks for your forbearance."

"I don't understand you; what do you mean?"

"I mean, that as you have come in with your boots and spurs, to thank
you for that you have not brought your horse too."

CANINE LEARNING.

A FOREIGNER would be apt to suppose that all the dogs of England were
literary, on reading a notice on a board stuck up in a garden at
Millbank: "All dogs found in this garden will be shot."

A STRATAGEM.

A TRAVELER coming, wet and cold, into a country ale-house on the coast
of Kent, found the fire completely blockaded. He ordered the landlord to
carry his horse half a peck of oysters. "He cannot eat oysters," said
mine host. "Try him," quoth the traveller. The company all ran out to
see the horse eat oysters. "He won't eat them, as I told you," said the
landlord. "Then," coolly replied the gentleman, who had taken possession
of the best seat, "bring them to me, and I'll eat them myself."

A NECESSARY HINT.

OVER the chimney-piece, in the parlor of a public house, in Fleet
street, is this inscription: "_Gentlemen learning to spell, are
requested to use yesterday's paper._"

A REASON.

A COUNTRY parish clerk, being asked how the inscriptions on the tombs in
the church-yard were so badly spelled? "Because," answered _Amen_, "the
people are so niggardly, that they won't pay for good spelling."

CAPITAL JOKES.

WHILE a counsellor was pleading at the Irish bar, a louse unluckily
peeped from under his wig. Curran, who sat next to him, whispered what
he saw. "You joke," said the barrister. "If," replied Mr. Curran, "you
have many such _jokes_ in your head, the sooner you _crack_ them the
better."

RAPID TRAVELING.

A DIGNIFIED clergyman, possessor of a coal mine, respecting which he was
likely to have a law-suit, sent for an attorney in order to have hi