"On your
shoulders, Sir."

DIVISION OF TIME.

"MURPHY," said an employer, the other morning, to one of his workmen,
"you came late this morning, the other men were an hour before you."
"Sure, and I'll be even wit 'em to-night, then." "How, Murphy?" "Why,
faith, I'll quit an hour before 'em all, sure."

A GROOM.

A GROOM is a chap, that a gentleman keeps to clean his 'osses, and be
blown up, when things go wrong. They are generally wery conceited
consequential beggars, and as they never knows nothing, why the best way
is to take them so young, that they can't pretend to any knowledge. I
always get mine from the charity schools, and you'll find it wery good
economy, to apply to those that give the boys leather breeches, as it
will save you the trouble of finding him a pair. The first thing to do,
is to teach him to get up early, and to hiss at everything he brushes,
rubs, or touches. As the leather breeches should be kept for Sundays,
you must get him a pair of corderoys, and mind, order them of large
size, and baggy behind, for many 'osses have a trick of biting at chaps
when they are cleaning them; and it is better for them to have a
mouthful of corderoy, than the lad's bacon, to say nothing of the loss
of the boy's services, during the time he is laid up.--_John Jorrock's
Sporting Lectures._

IN A QUIVER.

A COQUETTE is said to be an imperfect incarnation of Cupid, as she keeps
her beau, and not her arrows, in a quiver.

SATISFACTORY ANSWERS.

YANKEES are supposed to have attained the greatest art in parrying
inquisitiveness, but there is a story extant of a "Londoner" on his
travels in the provinces, who rather eclipses the cunning "Yankee
Peddler." In traveling post, says the narrator, he was obliged to stop
at a village to replace a shoe which his horse had lost; when the "Paul
Pry" of the place bustled up to the carriage-window, and without waiting
for the ceremony of an introduction, said:

"Good-morning, Sir. Horse cast a shoe I see. I suppose, Sir, you are
going to--?"

Here he paused, expecting the name of the place to be supplied; but the
gentleman answered:

"You are quite right; I generally go there at this season."

"Ay--ahem!--do you? And no doubt you are now come from--?"

"Right again, Sir; I _live_ there."

"Oh, ay; I see: you do! But I perceive it is a London shay. Is there
anything stirring in London?"

"Oh, yes; plenty of other chaises and carriage