man.

"Where's the boss?" he asked abruptly.

"What is your business?" she asked politely.

"None of yours!" he snapped. "I got a proposition to lay before this
firm, and I want to talk to somebody about it."

"And you would rather talk to a gentleman?"

"Yes."

"Well," answered the lady, smiling sweetly, "so would I. But it seems
that it's impossible for either one of us to have our wish, so we'll
have to make the best of it. State your business, please!"

AN UNFORTUNATE AFFAIR

"Look here," yelled the infuriated bridegroom of a day, dashing wildly
into the editor's room of the country weekly; "what do you mean by such
an infernal libel on me in your account of our wedding?"

"What's the matter?" asked the editor calmly. "Didn't we say that after
your wedding tour you would make your home at the Old Manse?"

"Yes," howled the newly made benedict, "and just see how you've spelled
it."

And the editor looked and read:

After their wedding tour the newly married couple will
make their home at the Old Man's.

CURIOSITY

"Children," said the Sunday-school superintendent, "this picture
illustrates to-day's lesson: Lot was warned to take his wife and
daughters and flee out of Sodom. Here are Lot and his daughters, with
his wife just behind them; and there is Sodom in the background. Now,
has any girl or boy a question before we take up the study of the
lesson? Well, Susie?"

"Pleathe, thir," lisped the latest graduate from the infant class,
"where ith the flea?"

THE SIMPLE POLITICAL LIFE

The American characteristic which demands ornaments and "fixin's" to all
ceremonies, as contrasted with genuine simplicity, is thus scored by
Judge Pettingill of Chanute:

"My ambition in life," said the Judge, "is to be the organizer of a
lodge without flub-dub, gold tassel uniforms, red tape ritual, a
regiment of officers with high-sounding titles, a calisthenic drill of
idiotic signs and grips, a goat, and members who call each other
'brother.' I would name the presiding officer 'it,' and its first by-law
would provide for the expulsion of the member who advocated the wearing
of a lodge pin."

PIGTAILS AND MOUSTACHES

When Wu Ting Fang was Minister to the United States from China, he
visited Chicago. A native of the Windy City said to him at a reception:

"Mr. Wu, I see there is a movement in China to abolish the pigtails you
wear. Why do you wear the foolish thing, anyhow?"

"Well," countered