anD laborr?

ONE WAY OUT

One of the congregation of a church not far from Boston approached her
pastor with the complaint that she was greatly disturbed by the
unmelodious singing of one of her neighbors.

"It's positively unbearable!" she said. "That man in the pew in front of
us spoils the service for me. His voice is harsh and he has no idea of a
tune. Can't you ask him to change his pew?"

The good pastor was sorely perplexed. After a few moments' reflection,
he said, "Well, I naturally would feel a little delicacy on that score,
especially as I should have to tell him why I asked it. But I'll tell
you what I might do." Here his face became illuminated by a happy
thought. "I might ask him to join the choir."

HOW WAR BEGAN

There have been a great many explanations for war, but the following
appears to have its special merits:

The world was supplied with an original producer; namely, Woman.

Woman produced babies.

The babies grew up and produced tradespeople.

The tradespeople produced goods with which to supply the woman.

The goods, coming into competition with each other, owing to the
different parts of the world wherein they were manufactured, produced
trouble.

The trouble produced international jealousies.

The international jealousies produced war.

Then the war proceeded to destroy the women and babies, because it was
through woman in the beginning that war became possible.

MATRIMONIAL ENDURANCE

A happily married woman, who had enjoyed thirty-three years of wedlock,
and who was the grandmother of four beautiful little children, had an
amusing old colored woman for a cook.

One day when a box of especially beautiful flowers was left for the
mistress the cook happened to be present, and she said: "Yo' husband
send you all the pretty flowers you gits, Missy?"

"Certainly, my husband, mammy," proudly answered the lady.

"Glory!" exclaimed the cook, "he suttenly am holdin' out well."

MISSING IT

The folks in the southern part of Arkansas are not noted for their
speed.

A man and his wife were sitting on their porch when a funeral procession
passed the house. The man was comfortably seated in a chair that was
tilted back against the house, and was whittling a piece of wood. As the
procession passed, he said:

"I reckon ol' man Williams has got about the biggest funeral that's ever
been held around hyer, Caroline."

"A purty good-sized one, is it, Bud?" queried the wife