they got back to the Dickson
home.

"John," said Dickson, "you enjoyed it?"

"Boss," said John fervently. "Ah shore did!"

"What did you like the most?"

"Mistah Dickson," answered John, "Ah shore laked hit all."

"Well, what impressed you most?"

"Well, suh, boss," he said, "Ah reckin hit waz dat dere animul you calls
de camuel."

"The camel, eh? Well, what was so remarkable about the camel?"

"He suttinly is got such a noble smell!"

A LONG STORY

"May I ask the cause of all this excitement?" asked the stranger in the
little village.

"Certainly," replied the countryman. "We're celebrating the birthday of
the oldest inhabitant sir. She's a hundred and one to-day."

"Indeed! And may I ask who is that little man, with the dreadfully sad
countenance, walking by the old lady's side?"

"Oh, that's the old lady's son-in-law, sir. He's been keeping up the
payments on her life-insurance for the last thirty years!"

A DUAL REPUTATION

As Grantland Rice tells the story, a certain distinguished English
actor, whom we may safely call Jones-Brown, plays a persistent but
horrible game of golf. During a recent visit to this country the actor
in question occasionally visited the links of a well-known country club
in Westchester County, near New York.

After an especially miserable showing of inaptness one morning, he flung
down his driver in disgust.

"Caddy," he said, addressing the silent youth who stood alongside, "that
was awful, wasn't it?"

"Purty bad, sir," stated the boy.

"I freely confess that I am the worst golfer in the world," continued
the actor.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that, sir," said the caddy soothingly.

"Did you ever see a worse player than I am?"

"No, sir, I never did," confessed the boy truthfully; "but some of the
other boys was tellin' me yistiddy about a gentleman that must be a
worse player than you are. They said his name was Jones-Brown."

ALWAYS SAFETY FIRST

"You say that you want some name engraved on this ring," said the
jeweller to the bashful young man.

"Yes; I want the words, 'George, to his dearest Alice' engraved on the
inside of the ring."

"Is the young lady your sister?"

"No; she is the young lady to whom I am engaged."

"Well, if I were you I would not have 'George, to his dearest Alice'
engraved on the ring. If Alice changes her mind you can't use the ring
again."

"What would you suggest?"

"I would suggest the words, 'George, to his first and