, making no effort
to move.

"Certainly is!" Bud answered.

"I surely would like to see it," said the woman. "What a pity I ain't
facin' that way!"

THE OBVIOUS PLACE

What is known in a certain town as "A Shop Carnival" was being held, and
little girls represented the various shops. One, dressed in a white
muslin frock gaily strung with garlands of bonbons, advertised the local
sweet shop.

When the festival began she fairly glistened with attractive
confectionery, but as time wore on her decorations grew less. Finally,
at the end of the last act, not a bonbon was to be seen.

"Why, Dora," cried the stage manager, "where in the world are all your
decorations? Have you lost them?"

"Oh, no," replied Dora; "they're perfectly safe. I'm wearing them
inside."

THEIR OPPORTUNITY

In war times Cupid is not only active but overworked, and people who
have never loved before do not wait upon ceremony. In the spring of
1918, a certain rector, just before the service, was called to the
vestibule to meet a couple who wanted to be married. He explained that
there wasn't time for the ceremony then. "But," said he, "if you will be
seated I will give you an opportunity at the end of the service for you
to come forward, and I will then perform the ceremony."

The couple agreed, and after a stirring war sermon at the proper moment
the clergyman said: "Will those who wish to be united in the holy bond
of matrimony please come forward?"

Thereupon thirteen women and one man proceeded to the altar.

DOING HIS DUTY, BUT--

That time-honored subject the wife who talks and the husband who endures
never ceases to be a source of inspiration to the humorist, and it is
truly astonishing how many new ways it can be treated:

One day the telephone bell rang with anxious persistence. The doctor
answered the call of a tired husband.

"Yes?" he said.

"Oh, doctor," said a worried voice, "something seems to have happened to
my wife. Her mouth seems set and she can't say a word."

"Why, she may have lockjaw," said the medical man.

"Do you think so? Well, if you are up this way some time next week you
might step in and see what you can do for her."

ANTICIPATING THE PLEASURE

Will Hogg of Texas says that down in Houston one Monday morning a Negro
boy in his employ came to him with a request.

"Boss," said the darky, "I'd lak to git off nex' Friday fur the day."

"What for?" inquired Hogg.

"Got to go to a fun'e