y head the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the
face."

"Yes, sir," said the boys.

"Now," continued the teacher, "what I want to know is this: How is it
that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood
doesn't rush into my feet?"

And a little fellow shouted: "Why, sir, because yer feet ain't empty."

A STORY FROM THE FRONT

One day an ammunition dump blew up. Cordite was blazing, shells and
bombs bursting, and splinters and whole shells flying everywhere in the
vicinity. The atmosphere was full of smoke and resounding with metallic
whines. Out of a shack hard by came a darky, loaded to the waterline
with kit, blankets, rifle, etc., and up the road he dangled.

"Here! Where are _you_ going?" shouted an officer.

"I ain't goin', suh," panted the darky. "I's gone."

EQUATORIAL MICHIGAN

Representative Billy Wilson, who dwells in Chicago, found himself in the
upper peninsula of Michigan doing some fishing and hunting. While there
he conversed with the guide that he had hired in order to have somebody
around to talk to.

"Must get mighty all-fired cold up here in winter," remarked Wilson one
morning.

"Yes, it often gets away down to forty-five below zero," replied the
native.

"Don't see how you stand it," said the Congressman.

"Oh, I always spend my winters in the South," explained the guide.

"Go South, eh? Well, well! That's enterprising. And where do you go?"

"Grand Rapids," said the guide.

SCRIPTURAL

The college boys played a mean trick on "Prexy" by pasting some of the
leaves of his Bible together. He rose to read the morning lesson, which
might have been as follows:

"Now Johial took unto himself a wife of the daughters of Belial." (_He
turned a leaf._) "She was eighteen cubits in height and ten cubits in
breadth." (_A pause, and careful scrutiny of the former page_.)

He resumed: "Now Johial took unto himself a wife," etc. (_Leaf turned._)
"She was eighteen cubits in height and ten cubits in breadth, and was
pitched within and without--" (_Painful pause and sounds of subdued
mirth._) "Prexy" turns back again in perplexity.

"Young gentlemen, I can only add that 'Man is fearfully and wonderfully
made'--and woman also."

THE FACT WAS

Saying is one thing and doing is another. In Montana a railway bridge
had been destroyed by fire, and it was necessary to replace it. The
bridge engineer and his staff were ordered in haste to t